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Old 07-12-2014, 01:08 AM   #6
e11even
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YDK- in the words of my southern relatives, you put your foot in that gumbo bruh. This is the crispest I've read from you. The flow was solid, but some word choices were a bit mediocre at times. I didn't really like that looping partial stanza at first but it slowly grew on me. Overall I dug this, and the resonating factor was high, as I've been feeling some kinda way lately lol. Great job.

Adonis- i think you went big inside your head. That's a great thing growth-wise, but we are not in your head... so as it happened to many of us in the past, the ambiguity and placid text makes for 'bad' voting. I liked a lot of what I read. I just couldn't connect it all in a coherent manner without willing in imaginary segues to continue the thoughts. But my hunch is that's exactly what you were going for. If it was, that was risky. I think the final thought where you left off could have been expanded for a more complete experience, because the whole anti-humanism angle felt a little unsatisfied. Overall, I don't think this is your worst or best. I just think you had more to offer and something stopped you. Good verse though.

This battle was pretty good. I liked parts of both verses, but in very differing aspects from one another. Good job to both. MVGT YDK for the more enjoyable and complete feeling verse.
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