INTRO
What’s up fagits, we’re back with another mag and by we I mean me. Allen is doing a great job though! Allen where are you? Anyways, the boy bleak stepped in this week and helped with the mag thank goodness cause it’s been busy for me recently lol. This guy Killing Spree swore to me that he’d help out but I shoulda known better than to trust a Canadian hockey loving drunk hobbit fagit. Whatever, it was a cool week and although I am quite displeased at the quality of bars, I am glad the majority of you showed. Lenox is banned from the league. Here we go!
YOUR BARS WITH WORDS (Battle Reviews ft. Cred)
PREDICTIONS BY BLEAK
Predictions, brought to you... no, gifted to you by: bleak
DMS (1-0) vs. Cereal (1-2)
Idk who DMS is but Cereal I know. So let's go
DMS 100/0
Contenders Match: Blue Bayou (3-0) vs. bleak (3-0)
Well well well mr bleak managed to get this far and is 3-0, props to bleak yo. I had no idea how he did it, but good shit bro. He’s a fat white lesvian from Norway and speaks little to no English. Blue Bayou is elite and has the upper hand here but bleak has the potential for an upset for damn sure. This is gonna be close.
Blue Bayou 60/40
Ghost1 (2-1) vs. Twodrop (2-1)
G1 has experience, I think 2drop is getting better. This mostly depends on what version we get of both. I got
Bags 60/40 but really the scouting report changes every week.
takem2school (0-1) vs. Killing Spree (0-1)
Cred should take this one, KS seems to have locked himself into lower mid tier lately. You should quit RB it makes u worse imo + it's a dead meme. I mean this site is too, but the renaissance is now. Cred
65/35pm
Hush (0-0) vs. Unfukwitable (0-0)
Haven't seen either guy battle in a WHILE but both have it in their bags. Idk who to pick but hopefully they both show and give us a good read.
50/50
Chainz (0-1) vs. Mediocrity (0-2)
Chainz no showed, Med lost a close one to me and idk. but I guess Med, he knows how to formulate a punch
Mediocrity 60/40
Plot (1-2) vs. veritas (0-1)
V knows how to write, I liked his bar last week and I like his chances if both show here. Plot has been (kind of) better about it but he's kinda known for no showing. I guess we will find out.
Veritas 51/49
Innovator (1-2) vs. Flow (1-2)
Flow is 1-2 somehow, maybe lost some drive after his run as of late. Inno still proving he's got what it takes in a battle atmosphere, and he's not clueless. Hard to call, if Flow comes correct he will take it but his bars haven't been registering with voters. Inno has to make up ground for name weight but he could possibly steal one.
Flow 65-35
Burd (1-0) vs. Amen (1-0)
Amen is not the text savant I always expected him to be, how u wait 16 years for ur comeback and u come with some Old MacDonald's farm type shit? Voting in battles like ur the 2nd coming of kungfugrip? Foh w/ that shit u worse than 80% of the writers u criticize. Ur lucky Aero didn't take u seriously and wrote even more bullshit than u did.
ORC 105/-5
Jabari Black (2-1) vs. Pinot Grij (1-1)
JB building up a resume of names, this would be a big one to add to the list. I like Pulse here but don't count JB out for an upset, his style works well here. Still don't think he's some random, maybe an Ali playing the long game.
Pulse 55/45
Destroyer (2-1) vs. Incredible (2-1)
Des should take it, I honestly haven't kept up with Incred's improvement. Surprised Des is still here, glad to see ur still alive tho.
Des 75/25
Cashius (2-1) vs. MMLP (2-1)
MMLP is 2-1 good shit. I remember he beat someone good but I'm not going into archives. Cash always popping in to champ shit, I think his only loss was Blue. I gotta lean Cash, per history and experience, but there is always hope.
Cash 80/20
Contenders Match: Schadenfreude (3-0) vs. Chyeahhh!!! (3-0)
Chy proving he can make it in the arena, but he meets a tough test here. Schad is hard to write against imo. Chy has been creative, and that will lend well into a W here. Schad needs to not underestimate the challenge he is presented, and he should win.
Shod&fraud 60/40
WORST BARS OF THE WEEK BY BLEAK (SHOTS FIRED!)
Exis
Get your frame nailed with hammers, you frail ass bastard
Go slam some Aids filled ring & say your claim to fame is Magic.
Aero
“EXCUSE ME BUDDY!!” then it’s “I’m sorry miss...” from then I control her
If you hear me say “EXCUSE ME BUDDY, oops sorry miss” I tapped your girl on her shoulder
Amen
We saw your "GOAT" pic vs Muff, this dudes blind & a queer,
Confusing that w/ a Donkey’s fitting, jack-ass defines your career.
Killing Spree
U signed out cos Ur bitter W/Votes, Grow ups all he had to do
So I'll Punch Desalinize till he can remove all the salt from his attitude
MESSAGE TO DESTROYER
OUTRO
A little uninspired to write this weeks mag due to the quality of bars being posted, but I am a man of my worm. Hey if you guys missed it, Barcotic just got destroyed by BodySnatcher in the BAL and he’s crying up a storm as per usual. On a more serious note, I want to see some fuckin BARZ yo. Like do I have to start setting killer matches each week in order to see some shit that isn’t half assed or “just enough to win?” A lot of you have had easy matches because it’s all about weeding out until you see yourself battling dope people back to back due to records. Some of you can’t even skunk the trash people you’re up against lol sad but hey it’s ok. Better bars = better mags. Peace.