Artifice- Nice internal monologue style piece from you man. You related to the picture perfectly and tied in some really good metaphors without it ever compromising the flor of the piece:
head on my desk, reflect on what's got me boxed in
ups & downs or in my case recesses and notches
years 7 to 9 spent trapped in the hell of my mind
tried to find a safe space & hope it'd fit
but these demons had me on edge & left broken to bits
& i'm often badgered just cuz my thoughts are scattered
Relating the picture to mental illness; an individual broken to pieces, unable to get his thoughts in order was a really cool take. Creative stuff. The rhyme scheme was strong too. Good work.
brokenhal0- A poetic take with a similar theme to Art's. A lot of obscure imagery in here which bore reading into a little deeper than a first take. The picture felt used as a reference point to the narrators state of mind;
the gift of this song is the puzzle portrays 1 gift for us all
and once complete the lines that divide dissolve into visions evolved
I like pieces about the evolution of self. Cool use of imagery and sophisticated use of vocab throughout the piece. Unusual structure helped this stand out too. Nice.
Vote- Artifice, felt he had a better connection to the picture. Enjoyed his imagery a little more. Good battle gents.
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