~Dream Battle – Top Two Verses of Round~
Submitted By:Cimmerian
Topic: Vanities Fare
01-16-2016
Round II of Winter Topical II
His pores opened—hot towel—skin soaking
Eyes closed—Barbicide on the nose
His mind, floating—full sail, wide ocean
Wind-stroked wings, stock brokering bonds broken
Business brought attitude, office at high altitude
A fountain of youth with a peter panoramic view
Dollars made sense, frenemies, mere platitudes
Dog eats dog—canines turned to cannibals
Live by the blade and pay for close shaves
He laid twenty on the ledge, waved ‘em good day
A light in the darkness, he turned up the shade
Lit up a cigarette, opened his window a ways
Flicked the ash, tracked down its elegant path
The direction, he laughed, that the market had crashed
Breeze through his hair, swearing sea salt’s in the air
He leaned out and flew. He was no longer there.
VS.
Submitted By: Pent uP
Topic: Dreams Of Reality
01-19-2016
Round II of Winter Topical Tourney II
Dreams of Reality
Dawn of a day,
The stubble is half clean..
So sleep deprived I could trouble a crackfiend to double the caffine.
Guzzle the vaccine until the buzz is felt aptly.
The shuttle is rattling as it shuffles at max speed.
Tumultous half beings that trust I know the way
cut, cuss, and clash as they rush to get overpaid.
Carpool for one makes the accustomed road estranged -
Today I carry the weight on rusted shoulders blades.
The would-be conversation is a hum in my cabin
that's as forward moving as being stuck in this traffic.
People visualize life as monochromatic -
with highlights lived through hues from a colorful palette.
The drive imitates life and I watch how art grows land plots -
A hint of blue in the horizon of the charcoal backdrop
as hilly silhouttes form from the harsh roads blacktop.
A low fog makes the scene float and cars go blast off -
Misty windshields turn trailing taillights into thrusters.
Speed demons keep weaving but I stay right of the truckers
So I can watch the sun paint night into summer -
Then I feel my face brighten as the gray skies gain a luster.
A quaint silence hides behind the sound of tires on wet pavement
that tickles my senses like fire and fresh bacon.
Transformation of the morning expires the stress agents
and I feel ready to be the best for the first time like prior to gestation.
The doors to work -
A portal perched between color and canvass.
A formal world beneath a sunken Atlantis.
Necessity drowned by luggage and baggage plunged in our travels.
Where an artists honest thoughts switch from a brush to the patterns.
Intangible vapors expand and manage the labor -
Turning entropys equation into a mechanical nature.
Holding on to coffee like hope in a graphic container -
Separated identity defined by the craft on the paper.
They argue whether I'm blank or quite vivid -
Some say the paint is white, but I say
its stylistic.
~Quarter Final Predictions~
Produced By:Certain
Adonis chose some good topics for this round, all Martin Luther King Jr. quotes that were well chosen for open interpretation. The bracket is weird and hard to follow, but it left us with a unique set of matchups that arguably feature the four best of the eight remaining writers in two battles. Anyway, I’m an opinionated dick and probably sound condescending about the approaches I suggest here, but don’t let that affect what you do. In most cases, the ones I suggest are the ones that I think would flatter your style best.
Pent uP vs. Cimmerian | “That old law about ‘an eye for an eye’ leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing.”
Pent uP has had a tough path but came with heat last round. The same goes for Cimmerian. But this challenge is a step up for each, particularly with a topic like this one, perhaps Martin Luther King Jr.’s second-most famous quote (or an elongated version of it).
Pent uP is a very competitive person who often uses his opponents’ weaknesses to guide his direction. He’s versatile enough that this approach usually pays off, and in this case, that means going with something more grounded and linear. Cimmerian’s style is all about juxtaposed metaphors and cleverness, to go along with pristine rhyming and cadence. Pent uP should not try to out-abstract Cimmerian, especially because abstract verses often read better at shorter lengths, which Cimmerian likely will hit. Pent uP needs to grab the reader by the throat early and hold tight.
His versatility makes this prediction very difficult. Pent uP could take a dozen different approaches to this topic, but my guess is he tells a story that inverts the idea of doing the right thing and illuminates unexpected consequences. Cimmerian, meanwhile, ruminates on universal blindness and whether we can see the right path at all. That leads to a battle that splits voters, but Pent uP’s heft —he writes 30 lines more than Cimmerian — makes the difference in the best battle of the round.
Prediction: Pent uP 53-47.
Vividlyvague vs. Mr. J | “If a man has not discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live.”
These two had a pair of memorable high-stakes standoffs in Season 2 of the Art of Writing League, but one of them has changed dramatically in the past two years while the other continues to grit out victories. Vividlyvague’s creativity and bombast shine when he takes his time, as he did last week against Frank in one of his best and best-written verses to date. Mr. J has more narrow aspirations, but he always will bring high-level lyricism and a few good turns of phrase.
The effort levels of both competitors makes this very difficult to predict. That’s because Vividlyvague needs time to execute his style and outright mediocre-to-bad when he rushes. Mr. J is much better when freewriting, but he occasionally goes with a deeper level of conceptual approach that is what he’ll need to beat a thought-out Vividlyvague verse. The top-level Mr. J verses come so intermittently that it’s easy to forget about his top gear, but he has one. Hopefully he brings it out.
My guess here is Mr. J will write about passion and its sources. The stream-of-consciousness verse will dip all over the place and get criticized for a lack of focus, but the best stretches will be elite. Vividlyvague will take a bizarre path to a story about a man dying for something he loves. It will get weird and lose readers at at least one point. But the battle will be good and close and enjoyable, and the votes probably will be the best of the tournament in their analysis of the good and bad of both verses.
Prediction: Vividlyvague 52-48.
Pinot Grij vs. PiE | “Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see.”
As I said in last week’s magazine, I hadn’t read much by PiE in a few years, but I remembered him being good. His verse last round was overloaded with rhymes to the point of near combustion, but it also was a complete story that took a few good turns and showed capability. Storytelling is a tricky approach against Pinot Grij because he does it with so much charisma. Everyone likes reading Pinot Grij’s verses, even when they vote against him because their brains can’t compute the idea of a topical battle being funny.
That’s what PiE is up against here, and I think the topic makes this a fascinating battle. It’s a really great topic that opens the doors to storytelling of all kinds or some personal introspection. I don’t think PiE or Pinot Grij would be wise to go the introspection route in this one, simply because I’m not sure either of them can bring it at the level required to win at this stage of a good tournament. But I’d love to be proven wrong. PiE has an additional impediment: It’s sometimes tough to get yourself up for consecutive matches like dead man and Pinot Grij even when the first doesn’t show because you put so much into that first verse.
My expectation is for both to write stories. Personal paranoia will be the theme for Pinot Grij, who tells a comedic drama with a pretty fucked-up ending. Meanwhile, PiE brings us a different kind of paranoia, possibly something about a dystopic future or a government intervention. I’m expecting PiE to bring it here because he has all the skills to beat Pinot Grij. How he handles his content will be key. Pinot Grij always has original content, even in his lesser verses. This will be a good battle with a few votes going both ways before the favorite pulls away.
Prediction: Pinot Grij 56-44.
Diode vs. Razah | “Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.”
Razah and Diode tend to write well enough to win. I would not put either on the elite level, but they can both beat elite writers and rarely lose to worse writers. That kind of consistency is rare and should earn praise. The topic is very interesting and could lead to some confusing-ass verses, but both of these writers are experienced enough to handle it. So I am expecting this to be a good battle.
Razah is sort of like if Mr. J took his verses more seriously. He’s gotten away with an easy path to this point, beating Innovator and TYSON with half-verses via an even shorter verse and a no-show from his opponents. But he’s a smooth lyricist who can tell stories but seems better fit when he’s writing charismatic introspective verses. I think a lot of the writers who rely on smoothness struggle to tell stories because they challenge the comforts of freewriting. Diode tends to beat writers like that, though, because he’s usually on a level higher conceptually than his opponents. That makes up for any shortcomings in rhyme mechanics, as does his use of poetic devices to help the flow.
I think Diode will go with a deconstruction of the very idea of faith, perhaps in story form but not necessarily. He’ll use logic-based argumentation that probably has a hole or three in it but overall makes a sound point on the issues with religion and unconditional belief. Razah could go many directions, but I’d like to see him approaching the staircase half of the quote and the purpose of making decisions even as results and future paths are unclear. This battle is the closest — but not best —of the round to me.
Prediction: Diode 51-49.
~Quarter Final Predictions~
Produced By:Adonis
Diode vs. Razah
This will be a fun read to say the least. While I can all but guarantee Diode will produce the better concept, I can say the same for the flow of Razah. This will be a battle decided by voters preference. I constantly vote against, rather predict against each writer, and am often times wrong. Each writer is very talented and this could go either way. I feel like it will come down to how much time Diode pours into his verse. If he writes a full length piece with a even a half decent concept and solid execution he should be able to overcome the impeccable flow but relatively weak conceptually work that is under 26 lines. Razah can write his ass off, his only issue is length. While I have zero problems with it, I recognize the up hill battle it is to beat a 60 line verse using half or less than. I too prefer a shorter verse but I will also try and conceptualize something that hasn't been done before, where Razah tends to perform more rap then topical, thus using the first concept I would think of while executing it a very high level. With all this said, I still think it will be close because I have yet to see that signature Diode concept that stands out above all. He has dispatched one tough competitor but again draws someone who poses a test in terms of styles. Should be a quick read none the less.
Diode 55%
VividlyVague vs. Mr. J
Interesting battle here because you both have had similar paths to get to this point. You have underperformed, yet here you are. I feel like each of you have lacked the motivation to produce that masterpiece, but hopefully this round breaks that mold for at least one of you. Mr. J will need to write a bit longer in my mind, either that or keep the length and produce both a concept that is not obvious and using a rhyme structure that is a bit more risque than usual. Do I see you doing either? Nope, not the least bit. Vivid has penned shorter verses this tournament, but if he wishes to advance he will need to come with a full length work here. The reasoning is simple, Mr. J has the more fluid style, so if he matches length he will already have a disadvantage because of that fact. I can see Vivid coming with some old school narrative here, which would play well for voters in my eyes. Time will tell, but in the end I really do think one of you is simply out matched here.
VividlyVague 60%
Pinot Grij vs. Pie
Dope battle. Pie is extremely talented but is unknown to just about everyone here. Pinot is the exact opposite, everyone knows and respects his style. Pinot is definitely the favorite to walk away on top, so as I write this I suspect Pie will actually produce better work then he did last week. Pie's read are always a bit lengthy, this is something I don't enjoy, but I realize when he fires on all cylinders, hitting stride in flow and being able to create a costume topic, he is very hard to beat. The problem is he will sometimes miss in terms of concept and just write what comes out. He's better then most writers at this site, but Pinot has been on another planet lately. Pinot is a true wild card, nobody knows what to expect beside the unexpected. The one thing I know is the writing will be crisp and and the concept fresh. Pie's long bar style will actually be a fault here because Pinot structures his lines in such a way that they read as long bar but view as short, dude is a beast in ever sense of the word. I look forward to this read, but feel like Pinot's well rounded style will just be too much to overcome.
Pinot 66%
Pent uP vs. Cimmerian BOTW
This is my the battle I most look forward to. Each competitor here has respectively been a top three performer of the bracket alongside Pinot, so this match comes too early for me. Could easily be the finals, but at least we are guaranteed to read it. Pent has a wide variety of styles he can pull out of his hat. For me, he is at his best when writing a conceptual work as he did round II, but that style would be least fitting to get him a win this round. I think in order to beat Cimm, Pent will opt out of that concept style and write more along the lines of traditional story, which is well in his arsenal, but then again, what isn't? Cimmerian will write as he has this entire tournament. Short and precise, most likely conceptual that will hit you like a bag of bricks if you actually try and decipher the verse. This is a very even match in my eyes. The deciding factor will all boil down to whether or not Pent writes a full length verse, which he often does. I don't see Cimm writing more then his typical 20 lines or so, the scary thing is, even when he writes these short lengths he's still elite. Cimm would be best off utilizing the style he has clearly mastered and not going out of his comfort zone. Should be a very interesting battle, a quick read and winner will likely be the favorite to advance into the finals.
Pent uP 52%
~Outro~
As I was feeling out a bracket, which you can find in the Chat and Predictions Thread, I realized something. We are at the final eight, so theoretically I handicapped the top 8 to reach it this far. Only one of the top 8 original seeds remain, great job Donis, you fucking lame. Anyways, as I said I hope to get back on schedule which would put verses due on Tuesday and votes due on Thursday. People complain about verses being due before Midnight, but in my eyes the due date is Monday and I give you all an extension into the next day because I wake up before the sun and won't close shit til after work. That's neither here nor their. Should be smooth sailing from here on out. G/Luck all.