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CopyPat · 07-15-2013, 11:34 PM

intro was nice. well constructed, concise rhyming. good shit

Death lurks and it looms, urgently moved to the emergency room.
Surgeons hurridly use surgical tools for nursing the burgundy wound..
Cant face this murderous doom, frightened by the red that is gushing..
Rib skeletal structures cracked from the lead in my stomach..
Hot metal's wrecking my functions

word. nice

I felt the rest wasn't up to par with that^^ and fell off a little flow wize after it. Not to say the rest was bad.. just not AS good. the content was ehhhh to me. but to each their own on that typa shit. u can handle this typa shit easily man.. rhyming 2, 3 words... or like 3-5 syllables.. would be nice to see u attempting more agressive scheming. i also don't see much inner bar rhyming from you.. or like cool switchbacks of one scheme then pop another one in,.. then back to the original. you know?? anyways not trying to shit all over u, just giving honest feed. p.s. i know ur style is great for audio so i get it. its very consistent u can't complain about that. i would just like to see u challenge urself a little complexity wise. Keep posting bro

07-15-2013, 11:34 PM	#6
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	intro was nice. well constructed, concise rhyming. good shit Death lurks and it looms, urgently moved to the emergency room. Surgeons hurridly use surgical tools for nursing the burgundy wound.. Cant face this murderous doom, frightened by the red that is gushing.. Rib skeletal structures cracked from the lead in my stomach.. Hot metal's wrecking my functions word. nice I felt the rest wasn't up to par with that^^ and fell off a little flow wize after it. Not to say the rest was bad.. just not AS good. the content was ehhhh to me. but to each their own on that typa shit. u can handle this typa shit easily man.. rhyming 2, 3 words... or like 3-5 syllables.. would be nice to see u attempting more agressive scheming. i also don't see much inner bar rhyming from you.. or like cool switchbacks of one scheme then pop another one in,.. then back to the original. you know?? anyways not trying to shit all over u, just giving honest feed. p.s. i know ur style is great for audio so i get it. its very consistent u can't complain about that. i would just like to see u challenge urself a little complexity wise. Keep posting bro __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.