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Old 07-13-2013, 12:04 AM   #9
Vulgar
Razor-thin derision
 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
Battle Record: 40-25

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trap - You have a charismatic quality about your writing in the form of a dull blade. I feel like your writing style can be sharpened, especially when it comes to conveying emotion. The makings of it are there, but the definition is hard to see (even though you are a crossfit guru) It was an enjoyable write, could've been stronger.

Split - Pretty funky, I like what you did with your word usage, using a different variety that I don't usually see, like for example 'prognosis' 'pestle' and 'assuage.' I felt like you were concentrating on making a firm point from the beginning about giving the theme 'retribution' a reverberating effect. Reading it wasn't labored and I was satisfied with your use of the language.

My vote goes to Split because it held me for longer. I was engaged.

Cool work gents.
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