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Old 07-10-2013, 10:55 AM   #10
dead man
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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it would appear she coveted assholes
& that pre-teen fantasy of love
was lost in a time capsule

nice.

Quasimoto lousy phototaker, people impaired
she'd never been a part of a love triangle because she was a square

idk why but that was my favorite line. really one of my favorite in a while. every now and then something strikes me and it sticks, and i think this will be one of those

her lies wilted, no bye for a Chi mistress
if only she applied herself
as much as she applied lipstick

cut to the throat. idk if this is a reference to the city or not but represent JO

Coney Island poltergeist, clinging to the ghost
of a former abusive husband used to wringing at her throat

man for the tiny slices that vulgar had in this freewrite, you managed to produce some slickness.

this was a great exoskeleton of character development, the styles contrasted in a way that was interesting to read and never felt dragged out more than necessary. pacing was perfect. the collective story of altogether too many females.

stay up guys, thanks


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