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Old 06-29-2013, 05:49 PM   #13
Rawn M.D.
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um this was wierd...lol

Flow - u need to get more concise imo, those r some long fuckin bars...anyways, you started off not so well, but ended up strong. It seems like ur swag built as u went, ur flow and rhyme scheme pretty much maintained, but seemed long winded, and rhyme wise a little simplistic at times..but I do enjoy redundant rhymes, so I think that worked for you. I would say work on mutli's more.

Serious - You did the exact opposite of ur opponent, u started off strong but ended draggin. Your verse was more concise, but I wasn't feeling ur content all that much, that bach moz n hitler coulda been dope if u worked it better, but u threw me with that gay pirate sht LOL... and ur closed/clothes casket is a reach imo, and yea u can use punches in SnF, but if u do u have to do it right, and swag it out, instead of insulting ur opponent compliment urself.

IMO flo got this with his madagascar n dahlia lama lines.
Both could improve on their wording, direction, and structure tho.

V/Flo