[Split]

You shine on my sight, so my blindside’s enlightened in tune.

didnt like that line, too artificially self-aware

I thought your tears were fruitless, but your patience proved they were strong.
I broke and a chance is gone, but one more I know that you’ll give me,
Willingly with me, filled with calm and still willing to lift me ..

yeah that section didnt have much direction for me.


you can rhyme and have some skill putting lines together. i just thought it wasnt very relatable because you were talking a lot about yourself and an unclear story.. it seemed like you knew everything from the get go and were just drawing out the conclusion for the purpose of rhyming.. didnt grab or hook me
just an opinion. keep keyin