thanks for the read/ kind words everyone. and the bath mat line was a reference to God's Bathroom Floor/ chemical dependency, ill translate that one lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Wrecka
no doubt split. I really liked what you did here. as always it was the vibe u created that I enjoyed.
the structure of your bars is sometimes confusing to me tbh. you have inner rhymes and sometimes the ending of each line doesn't rhyme with the last word of the preceding line but it rhymes with other parts. lmao. it mostly works out in the end but it feels like ur a long bar head formatting in short bar. or maybe ur just trying to be too complex. it flows really well just doesn't read smooth to me if that makes any sense.
but with that being said I could see the talent shining through. ur choice of rhymes and words is strong. and content wise im always digging ur stuff man. great imagery. and this was like machine gun rap. meaning its an fast paced meter. and I like that.
good stuff split. I enjoyed this.
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Word I feel you... Thanks for the constructive advice. I wrote this all in a go from my phone when I couldn't sleep, so I think there were places where I had a rhyme in mind, went back to reread to figure out my direction, then came back and took the next line a different way lol.