Yeah I gotta say that I think you can do better. I don't like how your title had little to nothing to do wit what you were rappin about. Maybe there was just something I was missing I'm not sure but overall this could use a little bit of work. Just work on your creativity and less on the rhyming. The rhyming should come natural to you and everything else would fall in place. But at the same time you do show good vocabulary and a little versalitilty wit your way of words. Keep workin at it, you'll improve.
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