ok. I like it. good story telling aspect to it. ok since its a work in progress ill try and give something constructive. it just kinda reads disjointed the way you broke up the bars with the numbers. but that is the concept, which is different and ambitious so I do dig it. but maybe you could do a little something like this
1.The Gracious Prince, Surrounded by Faceless Men with Tastless Grins.
Some say he's the Saviour Sent to Replace the Sin like the "Days Back When."
2.The Prince discarded his Title and Possessions and gathered Disciples for Lessons
And told them to Recite their Confessions. They wondered of Life and Heaven
if you somehow started the #2. part with a continuation of the" days back when" with a multi it would just fit together more seamlessly. like keep the rhyme scheme to the next number if you could. if not their then maybe the other ones.
but ya I love the creativity and look forward to read it when completed. stay up
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