[Lindel]

Netcees

Go Back Netcees > Vault > Archives > Hall of Names
Reload this Page Pulse / Pinot Grij
Welcome, Lindel.
You last visited: Today at 02:20 AM
Private Messages: Unread 0, Total 1.
User CP FAQ Community Calendar New Posts Search Quick Links Log Out

User Tag List

Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 02-03-2018, 10:05 AM #1
sral
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS

sral's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899394
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
Default Pulse / Pinot Grij
@infiktration
__________________
- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney
- Art of Writing League (x 4)
- AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)
sral is offline Add to sral's Reputation Report Post Reply With Quote Multi-Quote This Message Quick reply to this message
Old 02-03-2018, 03:34 PM #2
Saint
Scream

Saint's Avatar

Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 3,248
Battle Record: 63-35

Accomplishments
- 50 Wins

Champed
- BA Picture Roast
- Battle Royale Tournament
- NBL Pic Roast
- Netcees Battle League
- NBL Season 11
- HoT Roast
- BAL Roast
- Tag Team Tourney
- NBL Barcotic Cypher
- SOL Pic Roast
- BA Tag
- XXXtentacion Roast
- 1-2 LR Champ

Rep Power: 22535867
Saint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant future
Default
"Stacy's Mom" (and her Profound Feelings of Loss)

Spurned smoke, crisp September crackles in burnt oak
sifting embers, once named Faith, but she preferred Hope
sitting, trembling, just remembering on her back porch
the source of heat exhausted, also, she lacked warmth
she sat scorched, no past regret was the least forgotten
misbegotten breeze, gusts of grief from a teasing Autumn
she'd seemed despondent until that calm drift made her shift
it came swift, her gaze quit, 'hey, thanks for the lift'
yet remained split, she lacked the integrity necessary
was content to marry for money to relieve the debt she carried
yet she barely kept her cherry long enough to get her bearings
and still removing clothes didn't change how much she's wearing
hardly caring... she barely worried about Heaven or Hell
and considered her fingernails as an extension of self
let the emptiness dwell, she came to loathe her lack of growth
went back and forth with depression, to forge an acrid oath
her pain burned within, so she swore to never hurt again
and decided to swallow pride, with a mouthful of percodan
it's still hazy... thinking now, she must've been crazy
and she never would've done it, if she had have had Stacy
her unborn baby, whose first breath didn't escape the womb
a sweet flower that had withered, before it got to bloom
he sealed her doom, at once he'd been nothing but loving
but was a begrudging curmudgeon once she had a bun in the oven
so she snubbed it, a decision she's yet become one with
cuz she still cries herself to sleep, clutching her stomach
she's still running, trying to escape her former anguish
but what's strange is 'change' always seemed a foreign language
she was ashamed of all the pain she suffered needlessly
and sleeplessly envisioned a life that had ceased to be
in recent dreams, she saw her baby born in perfect health
but Stacy couldn't have first steps, until she took some herself
so she enlisted help, a support group to build her fortitude
it was a torpid troupe of women that had had abortions too
emotions strewn, just trying to find Hope in their cause
they'd open their hearts and talk about coping with loss
they'd broke from their talks, and they'd break for fifteen
and she'd go to the Maternity Ward to watch the babies sleep
it gave her peace, she knew she'd have to find it someway
figured she'd keep the Faith, might be worth something someday
then she'd head home, and quickly take the kindling out
light a match, and watch as flames and ashes dwindle about
no wrinkle of doubt as to why life had singled her out
and how hard it was to live with what she was living without

"Greener Pastures"

I'm the reefer man... an over-eccentric Weezer fan
believe it, man... I rock more green than Peter Pan
I'll scheme a plan, to get weed fronted in an instant
come lookin for dough? that's me, runnin in the distance
the dirty ditchpig, fiending off your little poochie joint
plus I got shit that'll rock ya til you're John Belushi'ed, boy
while your hoochie giggles cuz I'm talkin in a goofy voice
its amazing what can make a blitted bitch's coochie moist
now she's woozy... so I'm cruisin on to my next spot
need a spliff? hell, I roll quicker than Sonic the Hedgehog
with the best crops, trust kid, the count couldn't be cleaner
while your weed is even seedier than your demeanour
you'll see, I run a mean game, the cops could never get on it
the rap sheet's clean... hell, I got less dirt than hydroponics
its Homegrown product, and you could never have it, ho
c'mon, I don't need u... I said I needed half an O

"Melancholy Meadow"

Let me expunge these jaded notions, lured by a teasing finger
obscured by misleading judgment, and left alone to linger
hook, line & sinker... you had me from the moment I met you
but took a while before being something I wanted to pursue
it was the summer, I was lonely and needed to look ahead
needed some prospect for romance, and you popped into my head
a different someone, an enigma, with grace and charisma
or maybe I just needed someone to help me get over Melinda
either way, it was easy to build you up to a prominent role
but the fact that you're committed took an onerous toll
toppled this soul, until one drunken night of self-release
when we flirted back and forth, and let my feelings off the leash
sure, I regretted it, second guessed my motives of behaviour
but figured you were aware... since you were an active player
in games of the heart, so I went along with the rest of my week
and held in all the feelings that I was so desperate to speak
but it was destined to fail, who am I to make a girl question her male
cuz even I know how hard it is when a relationship fails
these impatient travails plagued me, playing with 'maybe'
and got enveloped in the fact that your heart could've saved me
but deep down, I guess I knew that you never really understood me
which made the denouement more exciting than the climax ever could be
or would be, but you led me on, c'mon, don't lie to yourself
cuz a big part of you wanted me, admit it, don't hide from yourself
cuz you never would've held my hand, or would've got in my bed
you never even would've let me get the thought in my head
but you're a tease, you divulged that, hell, a girl likes attention
but the tension was heart-wrenching when I discovered your intentions
and I guess that, I left that... thinking of you with less appeal
cuz it was such a cathardic experience... I had nothing left to feel
but I'll deal, ya know, that's just how matters of the heart work
and I'm just a lovesick fool who didn't get to capture your heart first

"The Death of Hope"

..sometimes I forget to breathe...

Hope. I've lost it.
a broken faucet dripping tears like the Okanogan flows in August
just a tightly woven mode to show misappropriated codes of logic
this corroded project grants no token solace for morose involvement
I'd rather forgo it all....

this is spoken honest, I have no motive to conceal the truth
I'll be real with you, hell, I live life like a broken promise
never follow through, I wander aimless, with despondent views
as the guilt of my indifference rendez-vous's with my squandered youth
and ponders truth... like existence has this elusive value
I'm a slave to my conscience, and that's the only God I bow to.
and I vow to, never approach penance for penitence with palms up
cuz I've suffered so much already that my tears could've drawn blood
this calm flood, of emotions that I'm emersed in only worsens
and I'm certain, behind this lead curtain, lays a better person
but being candid... a misplaced concept of self left me branded
I clutch at hope, but my heavy-handed swipes have never landed
I've been stranded... too many times by turn-coat companions
who take advantage... take this man... c'mon, take him for granted
I've raved and ranted, and sometimes its hard to stop the rage
stuck in this noxious stage, that's why I rely on Josh and Paige
they help lock the cage, and abate those fears that seem to surface
they emerge to stop the hurt, when my purpose seems worthless
this perverse circus, somehow lets me know hope is not dead
it is without end... its corny, but I found it, in friends.
the road bends, and our destination seems to be within view
and darkness imbues, hope doesn't bleed, it breathes, within you.
and I contemplate this sick joke with a cigarette and Vanilla Coke
there was always hope, my canvas was just in need of broader strokes

"The real HHDB diss"

I could kill all these kids, so don't even start me
I'll make y'all look more homosequal than Mister Darcy
an art fiend... a backpacker, call this kid what you will
cuz I'll bring mediocre-ness like Crazy Bitch brought the skill
you thought you're ill... until it was paralleled with nik-A
hey nik-A... you're gay, you're gay, you're gay, you're gay
ps. I hate you, like -able I'll give a bad name to Canadians
about as bad as nika wants to bring back the eighties, bitch
there's no KRS... you're obvious like clowning Stam's neck
this is a damn threat, like Senseless against a ham sandwich
no contest, I'll murder fags, with text that hurts the hands
a worthless plan, ps. Darcy... Colin Firth's the man
I'll work ya, man... like PLO, anything that supports the Blacks
I'll distort your point of view, like KILLAMANJARO distorts the facts
jsut to make a point, just like Stamina fakes his tracks
I won't stay on point, like Catastrophe's reputation stays intact
fuckin no-shower, I'm the double H dee bee horn-blower
you're as about popular as TyTania's topical subjects go over
my whoel motive, is to expose you queers from a different angle
and you deserve what you get, like ill nik-A versus Tranquil
get strangled... while I'm I'll swilling Colt forty-five, chillin
ya'll can get serenaded by Stadnent, the cracke dout Robbie Williams
I'll kill em, if you got your name left out... don't worry...
cuz you'll get booted like Grabber from the Tourney, in a hurry
Saint is offline Add to Saint's Reputation Report Post Reply With Quote Multi-Quote This Message Quick reply to this message
Old 02-15-2018, 02:33 AM #3
Saint
Scream

Saint's Avatar

Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 3,248
Battle Record: 63-35

Accomplishments
- 50 Wins

Champed
- BA Picture Roast
- Battle Royale Tournament
- NBL Pic Roast
- Netcees Battle League
- NBL Season 11
- HoT Roast
- BAL Roast
- Tag Team Tourney
- NBL Barcotic Cypher
- SOL Pic Roast
- BA Tag
- XXXtentacion Roast
- 1-2 LR Champ

Rep Power: 22535867
Saint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant futureSaint has a brilliant future
Default
"Raphaela Stars"

Raphaela stars singing songs, leaping into blankets
A blind man marvel, snatched handbags ripped from strangers
Drunken honesty, untouched promises next to godliness
Bottled rock-bottoms, gobbled up to fill the hospices
And we raise a toast to… the kind of feelings that choke you
The buoyant exploiters set sail dreams by the boatful
Never hopeful, giving the Machiavellian hand a squeeze
Scream abandon me, false tongues fulfilling sycophantasies
Here’s a nickel, dance for me, manifest a monocle vision
With bombs over freshly-combed headed hospital children
Strike and ignite, torch the empires and hold a pagan’s heart
Maintain love’s mercy personally but keep your dagger sharp
Twist the bulb, this Moriarty mystery grips the skull
Capsized eclipse movements flip to resist the invincible
So shine on wretched glory, under what wonderment is
Stuffing money in pigs, ending up bloody and rich
Kill the crops, watch rotten bastards plot the massacres
Static nerves request flesh from Shylock ambassadors
Doomed damsels panhandle once the vandals appear
And Xanadu’s ingénues extinguish candles with tears
Damned reluctance cutting curtains on grand productions
Be a man with firm hands that stands for something
Rippled brine in pickled pride, emerge, live or die
Serpentine words converge… the sickle shines
Warring worlds clash, ideology’s blood spurts
Love’s worth lies between cold eyes and a chunk of earth
Rum-rowdy ruffians converse loudly in rented rooms
The rotted vessels of empty blooms hold their sceptres to truth
Wealth stashed in thresholds, flags merge in a sad dirge
Cracked cans of worms, a frantic search for man’s worth
Pillage the town, soar swiftly when human will is aroused
Tonight we sleep with Raphaela stars and make pillows of clouds

"Fuck the Yankees"

FUCK THE YANKEES! Every single fan’s a damn faggot..
tell me, dudes.. how much did you pay to ride the bandwagon??
and with the money y’all got, you think you’d be heavyweights
pay two hundred million a season.. to play like the Devil Rays
and y’all buy all your players.. that fuckin’ shit’s wack..
some teams have lower payrolls, than y’all pay in luxury tax
no beards or long hair? wow, that discipline’s exceptional..
..ly gay, since it’s club policy to look like a metrosexual
and I gotta mention Derek Jeter.. fo rel, the man’s a star
dude really knows how to clutch singles.. down at the faggot bar
and Giambi’s on steroids.. and I ain’t even clownin’ the cat
but he’s got fuckin’ veins on his neck bigger around than his bat
a red face and a wide neck.. the man looks like the Juggernaut, see..
and that shit’s funnier than the stats put up by Bubba Crosby
got Cabrera to fill-in.. a weak bat and not too hot of a fielder
since Matsui broke his wrist.. to make it look like A-Rod’s or Jeter’s
speaking of Rodriguez, dude’s a monsters with bats..
cuz A-Rod’s his nickname.. and also what he wants in his ass
but he’s a pro.. if you’re talkin’ about his past, he’s savage
now he makes $100 000 for every point on his batting average
fuckin’ 25 mil’ a season.. that contract’s costly as shit..
cuz the dude’s 1/8 of your payroll.. and that’s how often he hits
and your starters are sick.. but y’all pray they stay strong late..
cuz that bullpen is more sickly lookin’ than Joe Torre’s prostate
but Mariano’s pretty dope.. I can say that he’s awesome, dude..
rarely blows a save.. but he’s blown every man in the locker room
and I don’t like the Roots, but the fact they’re philosopher’s clear..
cuz Things Fall Apart.. just look at Randy Johnson’s career..
and if I had to compliment them.. I’d probly panic in a stitch..
so you’re not the gayest franchise in NY.. cuz Steve Francis is a Knick
Saint is offline Add to Saint's Reputation Report Post Reply With Quote Multi-Quote This Message Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2024, 11:39 AM #4
sral
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS

sral's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899394
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
Default
You think Alex Trebek is an unassuming quiz show host?
The kid’s no joke – trust me, fuckin with him’s a big no-no
See, by all appearances he’s lived the life of a scholar
He’s read the Brontës and Chaucer, Jane Austen and Faulkner
He’s studied the sciences: biology, physics, chemistry
And it’s this acumen that’ll put your whole family’s lives in Jeopardy!
His occupation’s often taken lightly cuz he’s viewed in your homes
But with his intellect, he could fuckin’ crack the nuclear codes
I say, the man is a maniac, driven by his disdain for insipience
Thinks the whole American populace are miscreants and idiots
That evil Canadian bastard sits up on his high horse
And takes a splattery shit on a U.S. flag every July 4th

.................................................

Trebek tinkers with his creation, sworn to a fanatical pledge
Attaching the robotic torso to its mechanical legs

He mutters…
“A handsome, muscular TV host who demands his respect”
“Who is Alex Trebek”

“With his chiseled body, he could swim the English Channel, no sweat”
“Who is Alex Trebek”

He constructs his monster, smirking at his mathematical charms
As he solders the robotic torso to its mechanical arms

He mutters…
“Masculine, dick like a javelin, but holds his malice in check”
“Whooooo…… iiiiiiis…. Alexxx Trebek”

“This studmuffin hasn’t met an intellectual challenger yet”
“BITCH, I’M MOTHERFUCKING ALEX TREBEK!!!!”



“MUAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA”

.................................................

His beast comes to life, Trebek smirks in elation
A murderous robot, he’s finally birthed his creation
An electronic manifestation made to showcase his wisdom
And they take off in his Aston Martin to locate his victims

*Knock knock*

Pat Sajak has just finished a huge mountain of coke
His magic dust to appeal to the nightly crowds he invokes
He answers the door, suddenly aghast as he’s met…
By a giant blue-faced robot, and fucking Alex Trebek
“Hello Pat, you faggot, by now my hate should be obvious…
Cuz your show ahead of mine is a disgrace to my audience
See, your pussy ass is dead, this robot’s really a weapon
To kill plebeians who can’t answer a simple trivia question:

“This blonde idiot is broadcasted on all of the biggest stations
Let’s call this ignoramus the hugest bitch in syndication.
Lacking innovation, plus me and this bitch go way back…”
Pat shudders, “Who is…. P-P-P-Pat Sajak?”

BOOM

The robot left Pat’s brains splattered on the veranda light
Alex smirked, “Wrong bitch.. who is Vanna White”

Trebek drove off, with his robot, feeling refreshed
Showed up on the doorstep of that douchebag, Ryan Seacrest
The door opened, Trebek said, “Ryan, you midget queer..
Your show’s lack of acuity is what brings me here
I’ll let you maintain your job and your faggoty rep
If you can answer this pop quiz, bitch, I’m Alex Trebek!”

“This Jackson bitch inspired madness with their musical knack
But turned light-skinned in the 80s when they refused to be black”
Seacrest stuttered, “Who-o-o i-i-i-is Michael?”
That’s when the robot blew off his frosted tips with its rifle
As Seacrest’s blood pooled around his head in the foyer
Trebek chuckled, “You fucking fuck, I was talking about LaToya”

They sped off, as Trebek cleaned the blood from his fingernails
And drove to the front door of Wikipedia’s Jimmy Wales
“Hello you British bitch, we gotta be man-to-man with shit
Your website singlehandedly dumbed down our College Championship
That’s why I’m at your door with the most callous of threats,
Are you ready to die, limey? I’m fucking Alex Trebek!”

“Before your shitty site, there was a volume encyclopedic
And every grade school child in the world was forced to read it”
Jimmy cried, “Oh blimey, it must be the Britannica, chap!”
Trebek threw his head back, “Nice try, with your amateur ass…
Welcome to America, I guess consider this sort of a lesson
Faggot, your answer must be given in the form of a question”
Trebek laughed and winked, then motioned to his machine
The robot opened fire and Wales was blown to smithereens

See, there’s a TV host that needs his chemical imbalances checked
But no one dares to fuck with the man that they call Alex Trebek
__________________
- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney
- Art of Writing League (x 4)
- AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)
sral is offline Add to sral's Reputation Report Post Reply With Quote Multi-Quote This Message Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2024, 11:39 AM #5
sral
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS

sral's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899394
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
Default
ROLE REVERSAL!!

Yooo, I love graffiti, it's so anti-establishment
A colorful "Fuck You!" to the system and its inhabitants
I'm sick of the government, the war and the killings
So I painted a girl patting down a soldier on this building
(take that Putin!)

A political rebel, never settle, its a Grade A plan
We're gonna take back Crimea with a spraypaint can!
I loooove Banksy!!! He's a hero, there's no debate
A man so courageous that he never shows his face
The commercial agenda is what we've professed to conquer
Nothing can stop our message... except for a pressure washer
My gramma said, "You gonna change the world someday, star"
That's why I tag her initials on brick walls and subway cars
The cops try to stop me, but I lay it down regardless
Ruining other people's good work under the shroud of darkness

Srrrrrkt...

BACK TO PINOT!!!

Listen kids, this is a friendly PSA
From Pinot Grij, tellin you not to be so gay
Graffiti is just losers making cluttered up scenes
If you want to fight a war, join the fucking Marines
Your cause is stupid, I don't know why you try anymore
Cuz you're only sticking it to owners of variety stores
A political activist?? Trust me, no one wants that guy
I mean... girls DO fuck artists... just not thaaaat kind
I get it, you're passionate.. that's the way that you are
Maybe write text verses... or learn to play the guitar
Do something productive that's not the smallest crime
And stop wearing a fucking backpack all the time
Or, I guess keep tagging... I mean, if that's what you need
Just start writing shit that people can actually read
__________________
- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney
- Art of Writing League (x 4)
- AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)
sral is offline Add to sral's Reputation Report Post Reply With Quote Multi-Quote This Message Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2024, 11:40 AM #6
sral
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS

sral's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899394
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
Default
Topic: "Welcome to the Jungle"

Tony the Tiger woke up smelling like a horse's vagina
After the whores, he scored some coke and pulled an all-nighter
Adjusted his neckerchief and looked over his lousy apartment
Which appeared even worse after he had doused it in vomit
He thought, "How'd I get here? I only tried to lure kids with sweets...
And then creepily appear at each one of their track meets
Then I got a restraining order. Why? I'm not so sure...
I'd just let the kids know how tight and firm their bodies were.
Then I raped their sweet buttholes, regardless of gender
Oh wait... is anyone really surprised that I'm a fucking sex offender????"
__________________
- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney
- Art of Writing League (x 4)
- AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)
sral is offline Add to sral's Reputation Report Post Reply With Quote Multi-Quote This Message Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2024, 11:41 AM #7
sral
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS

sral's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899394
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
Default
I messaged her, “I want to see you soon
We could meet at noon at some greasy spoon
Just me and you, some split pea soup, and let our feelings bloom
It’s easy to see me swoon, there’s nothing you need to do
Cuz I can tell we were meant to be without even meeting you
My online bio will tell you what my interests happen to be
Like how my favourite shows are Battlestar Galactica and Dragonball Z
I hate Macs, love PCs – not rich, but my bitcoin fortune’s huge
Plus I know a guy who knows the guy who leaked the Jennifer Lawrence nudes
I’m a video game fiend, but I’m still a sexual lothario, believe me
I’ll have you sliding down more pipes than Mario and Luigi
Like a first-person shooter, on the sexual Battlefield I’m good to go
Cuz it’s my Call of Duty to Command & Conquer your pussy hole
Oh ya, and I’m a Trekkie… girl, it’s like you can read my mind
So you’ll have to Klingon when we sixty-Deep Space Nine
I’ll rain down my giant loads on you like Sodom & Gomorrah
And do it all without taking off my awesome fedora
No more, then… that’s just a teaser of what’s in store for dat ass
So I’ll just wait here for you, I’m sure only a few moments will pass"
__________________
- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney
- Art of Writing League (x 4)
- AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)
sral is offline Add to sral's Reputation Report Post Reply With Quote Multi-Quote This Message Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2024, 11:41 AM #8
sral
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS

sral's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899394
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
Default
Topic - "Some may never live, but the crazy never die."


Mortimer Cocksmith was overly cautious
Mostly, he’s nauseous, petrified by the hold of his conscience
He’d never provoke a neighbor, that ain’t in his wholesome nature
Cuz folks who are known to anger are more prone to danger
So he avoids all confrontation, he’s never even sipped a beer
Gripped by the crippling fear that he’d become addicted for years
He’d strictly adhere to rules so as to never lapse his control
He even pees sitting down to avoid the backsplash in the bowl
Sex? He enjoyed by himself, jerked off til his scrotum was swelled
Then he’d cry himself to sleep and think, “…..I’m going to hell”
His heart was open as well, he finally met a woman that nurtured
But he played the observer as she fucked all of his co-workers
Still he retained his credo, because he was in love with his wife
And if he ever confronted her on it he could fuck up his life
So he maintained his silence, and vowed to ride destiny and enjoy it
He never had any expectations, so he could never be disappointed
Mortimer lived a lengthy life, without wanting nothing more
And peacefully passed away at the age of a hundred and four

Jurgen Von Cockenstein was the live fast-or-die type
He liked the nightlife… loved to skydive… a real wise guy
Lived the high life, I mean REAL high, dude been hype from the start
He once rappelled into a volcano just to light his cigar
He goes extreme upon any scheme that any man could embark
When he goes surfing, he does it on top of actual sharks
He’d race speedboats through crevices the width of a keyhole
And when he did a little jizz would shoot out of his pee hole
He lived for the rush, and could get any bitch that he wants
Fill up her guts, spill all his nut, then she’d fix up his lunch
He’d say, “D’you honestly think I give a shit if I live til I’m eighty?
Look at the chicks that I’m dating… this shit is amazing!”
One day then, Jurgen had a plan for a new extreme sport
He loved to fuck, and loved to rush, but still he’d need more
So he devised to set a woman on skis down the steep slope and…
Follow up behind her, butt naked, for some downhill deep boning
He thrusted as wind gusted against the sack of his balls
And as he nutted, his face busted as he crashed into a wall
He made headlines as the dead guy who did something sick
Dead by Extreme Downhill Banging at the age of twenty-six

So, who would you rather be?
__________________
- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney
- Art of Writing League (x 4)
- AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)
sral is offline Add to sral's Reputation Report Post Reply With Quote Multi-Quote This Message Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2024, 11:42 AM #9
sral
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS

sral's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899394
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
Default
vs. Ronin aka Artificial

Chicks are afraid of Art, keep him away from women and kids
Got so many girls that you stalk home, you could apply for Swedish citizenship
Folks act like I can’t battle just cuz I wear the topical crown
I’m Pinot Grij, cuz your mom has too much of me when your pops not around
I’m actually anti-gun, but even this pussy’ll have me grippin’ the mac
Plus my shotty’ll leave you without a center, like DeAndre did to the Mavs
Act up without your backup, fool I’ll leave your head broken
I’ll make a racket and have the ground red, it’ll look like the French Open
__________________
- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney
- Art of Writing League (x 4)
- AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)
sral is offline Add to sral's Reputation Report Post Reply With Quote Multi-Quote This Message Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2024, 11:43 AM #10
sral
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS

sral's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899394
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
Default
vs. Havok

Ayo Havoc,
You ain’t a Prodigy, your Mobb ain’t Deep, so look, son
I got a couple cans that’ll spray you in your face, I call ‘em Shook Ones
This rook’s done.. I’m in the cut, with your girl, the chick’s a slut
Whole crew ran thru ‘er, ain’t no Quiet Storm when she get it Infamous
So I hear you’re Alphabet! We all know Alpha bit, stop with the lies
If you seen the sitcom, then you know Alf biting cats is not a surprise
I just champed Fight Night, against this light tyke? I'm mean with it, scout
If you have a Fight Night, you make your boyfriend sleep on the couch
You got no game, troop… talkin' fake violence like most lames do
Until I put the ratchet to your neck like Frankenstein if his bolts came loose
This pussy Posey ain’t a Joc, I’ll take a bat to this herb’s jaw
And Cincy seein’ All Stars, I’ll drop him quicker than curveballs from Kershaw
__________________
- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney
- Art of Writing League (x 4)
- AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)
sral is offline Add to sral's Reputation Report Post Reply With Quote Multi-Quote This Message Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2024, 11:43 AM #11
sral
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS

sral's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899394
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
Default
Ed would often hesitate about his wedding date. Thought he ought to give his head a shake or have a good friend set him straight. Dottie was as swell a dame as a fella could expect to date. He’d think, “Ed, you’re second rate! She’s the best you’ll do, for heaven’s sake! You should celebrate!” But Ed, he was a renegade, you can’t domesticate his restless state. At any time, he could hop on his motorbike with the Texas plates, and cruise the Western states. He could work, clearing breakfast plates. You can do that anyplace. But those feelings are ones better kept at bay. Like most men, he felt a woman could cover up his lesser traits. Thought she’d tame his wild horses and slow his life to a steady pace. Put out his fiery passion that was set ablaze by his yesterdays. “All that stuff ends the day you get engaged,” Ed would say. But the tension weighed, could not be swept away. It would resonate. He bowed his head to pray that God would remove these thoughts by His blessed grace. Ed couldn’t accept this fate. The little devil in his head would say, Marriage means your freedom’s been pledged away, Ed. Sure, she’s pretty but she’s got expensive tastes, Ed. Do you like your paycheck? She’ll whip through it at a pace that’s breakneck. Before you get a taste, Ed. Oh, and “I love you”… if you forget to say it, it wrecks her day, Ed. In fights, she’s blameless. No matter what you say, Ed. Face it. Is that worth giving up all the dames we could get to date, Ed? Is she that great, Ed? Do you want eight kids? What if they need braces? What if one’s gay, Ed? Could you take it? Whaddaya say, Ed? I’ll tell you what.. let’s go get some cocaine, Ed. You've had a long day, Ed. Let's hop on that motorbike and drive far, far away, Ed. Is that outrageous? It'll be painless. Whaddaya say, Ed?

All she saw was his Texas plates.
Where he’ll end up? That’s for Ed to say.
__________________
- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney
- Art of Writing League (x 4)
- AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)
sral is offline Add to sral's Reputation Report Post Reply With Quote Multi-Quote This Message Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2024, 11:45 AM #12
sral
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS

sral's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899394
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
Default
vs. Chyeahhh!

Final week.. who is this geek? Ain’t no way you beatin’ me, Sally
You Jon Snow in Game of Thrones, I’ll kill this bastard in the season finale
This’ll be over fast.. you’re no Main Attraction - in a leading role, you’re ass
Since you think you a Star, I’ll break your fuckin neck so you can have a supporting cast
My shotty’ll destroy you, leave a fuckin mess where you stood there, homo
When you get to heaven, it’ll just be a shoe with wings like the Goodyear logo
I heard your dick game is weak.. ya girl said she’s tired of the sex
She calls you Hand Sanitizer.. the more you rub it, the drier she gets
That bitch gave up the pussy tho.. the reality has to hurt you
She took the pipe like the bad kid in an anti-drug commercial
Plus your faggot set don’t rock - y’all pussies ain’t got your hearts in it
For you an’ your crew, I’ll be writin’ more chalk lines than Bart Simpson
This Joker is an X-Man, to draw on this cartoon is no trouble
I’ll make this comic strip, but on this page, we’ll never see your quotes bubble
This the season finale, I ain’t even need to prep to show this geek is just broke
I’m John Oliver, it took me thirty minutes to turn your Last Week into a joke
__________________
- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney
- Art of Writing League (x 4)
- AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)
sral is offline Add to sral's Reputation Report Post Reply With Quote Multi-Quote This Message Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2024, 11:46 AM #13
sral
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS

sral's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899394
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
Default
vs. Plot

You talk guns but won’t do shit when I come with the pump, liar
I’m Michael Bay, you’ll see this Plot get lost in all of the gunfire
Oh, you mad? Too bad I don’t give a fuck how you feeling, fam
If you ain’t cool, I’ll spin these blades over your head like a ceiling fan
With triggers, he scared to squeeze like this bitch was huggin a distant cousin
This asshole's quiet on the can, like he’s nervous about taking a shit in public
You ain’t a real man – that’s an Avatar. I swear I hate bitches like you
When my Force Awakens it’ll smash your box office, plus the one you live inside too
Even if you got eleven homeys, it’s like New Year’s when I body your soldiers
My noisemaker blows, then it strikes twelve and your whole party is over
__________________
- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney
- Art of Writing League (x 4)
- AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)
sral is offline Add to sral's Reputation Report Post Reply With Quote Multi-Quote This Message Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2024, 11:46 AM #14
sral
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS

sral's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899394
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
Default
I’ll take the Intercontinental Belt back. Take it back to Parts Unknown. Load the spaceship with the rocket fuel. Then load it with the Warriors.”

- The Ultimate Warrior

Jared loves astronomy and professional wrestling
Two topics with no common ground, you’re probably guessing
With his telescope, he held out hope as he checked out the moon
That its celestial dunes were some kind of extraterrestrial ruins
Until that one night, he glimpsed within the moonlight’s glorious bask
Upon its rocky surface, there emerged the Ultimate Warrior’s mask!
Once the euphoria passed, he watched with a gleam in his eyes
Like a beam in the night, the mask whimsically careened through the skies
It was the Warrior ship! Jared thought, “Is this really happening?”
And like some astral dream, he was pulled in by its tractor beam
Through sliding doors he made his way to the ship’s command center
Then gasped, all the crew mates were his favorite dead wrestlers!
Macho Man, Eddie Guerrero, Owen Hart and Rick Rude
The British Bulldog, Mr. Perfect - now there was a slick dude!
There the Warrior said, “We never died, Jared, this was our destiny.
To protect Earth from subterranean aliens who are great at wrestling!
That’s why I had my vessel bring our sport’s most massive fan
To give you a front row seat to our huge event at Saturn Slam!”

Jared couldn’t believe his eyes - he swore never to blink
As he watched his former heroes all enter the ring
He saw Mr. Perfect grab his alien foe around its purple neck
And held it as it struggled to escape from the Perfect-plex
Macho Man defeated his opponent and after he pinned him
He put on his shiny cowboy hat and snapped into a Slim Jim
Ravishing Rick Rude faced a truly gruesome, heinous thing
But stole his girlfriend after he snapped him in the Rude Awakening
Then the Warrior took the ring in a 20-Man Battle Royale
And as the last man standing, he grabbed the mic with his patented growl
“I may be the champion, but I couldn’t win this match myself
I owe it all to Warrior Jared for reclaiming the Intergalactic Belt!”
Jared’s passion swelled, he couldn’t even fathom his fame
But he felt on top of the world as the superstars all chanted his name

It’s all a dream. Jared is a lonely boy clutching his only toy
An Ultimate Warrior action figure, his yard sale pride and joy
See, his brothers would beat him while his mom was at work
Those jerks took their anger from the divorce out on his self-worth
It was mean, his brothers put him in the Million Dollar Dream
But he wouldn’t fall asleep, they’d just hold it as he screamed
He’d think, “At school, when they pick teams nobody selects me.
I get beat up at every recess and nobody protects me.
Most nights when I go to sleep my stomach is empty.
If I died, I think everybody in the whole world would forget me.”
He held his Warrior toy and cried that night with hard sobs
His stupid brother had gotten angry and broke both of the arms off
So he looks upwards at the sky for shooting stars, he’s never seen one
And he dreams of escaping a world that will never let him be one
__________________
- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney
- Art of Writing League (x 4)
- AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)
sral is offline Add to sral's Reputation Report Post Reply With Quote Multi-Quote This Message Quick reply to this message
Reply

Edit TagsTags
None

Quick Reply
Message:
Remove Text Formatting

Bold
Italic
Underline




Insert Link
Insert Image

Wrap [QUOTE] tags around selected text

Decrease Size
Increase Size

Options
Quote message in reply?


« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (1 members and 0 guests)
Lindel

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may post attachments
You may edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Rules
Forum Jump

Hall of Names


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:04 AM.


-- Netcees - 2009-2012
Contact Us - Netcees - Archive - Top

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+