[symetrik]

ether:
cool take on a pretty light topic, really twisted it around and made something out of it which was dope. great flow mostly, a couple of rough patches (like "self reflection" might have flown better without "self") - very clear concept almost immediately from the start, and delivered on that concept consistently, plus told the outline of a big story, plus a little "snapshot" of a moment in time part of the way through without offering resolution (which actually worked well in this case bc it emphasized the lack of resolution for the subject)

fraze:
dunno that I've read your stuff before. I really liked the usage of voice indicators and even tho I didn't listen to the beats (bc I never do), the "this is who's speaking" alone was a BIG add to the read imo. it also helped clearly and immediately dictate to me exactly how you meant some of it to be read, predominately the morgan freeman section.

I think it went pretty... wide, setting a context in a documentary-esque way, introducing the "villain" in a little cameo plus "big bad rapper" vibe lol, and then introducing the actual meat of the story.

this might hurt you with some voters, but I'm a huge fan of the intri***y here - it's something fresh (at least to me and recent battles) and it gives me enough to piece it all together clearly without just dragging me down the prequel to the "honeymoon" story, which might honestly end up being boring - kept it sorta action packed, or at least suspense packed.

mvgt Fraze