Goatmilk:
Hello and welcome to “topical battles”. It’s clear you’re a song writer. Your piece was ambitious and creative, weaving a bunch of driving metaphors into this kind of cosmic, spiritual exploration of purpose and self-discovery. I really dug “an exit I should have never taken”. That said, while the abstract/esoteric approach was definitely thought-provoking, the piece didn’t always feel cohesive, which made it tricky to follow the intended journey. Still, there were some really nice turns of phrase in there and decent rhymes.
Symetrik:
Your verse was more grounded and relatable, with a self reflective but conversational tone. Even though it perhaps wasn’t as intricate as Goatmilk’s piece, it was more cohesive and perhaps therefore more emotionally resonant. The more I read it, the more the themes settle in and stick with me. The passenger line was a standout. My biggest complaint here is the lack of multi syllable rhymes. They’re an important part of this artform IMO. Otherwise this is just mediocre poetry.
Vote:
Enjoyed both in different ways but I value overall cohesion over bar-by-bar intri***y, so my vote is for Symetrik.
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The Bad Guys
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