Scar - start with a rare negative, the font size/ choice was a bit off putting. maybe its cuz were so used to the regular format. but its different
already love this flow, then showered and "dressed" was probably the better word choice here tho, at the start
this reads like an alliterated poem, taking a very dark turn. some nice phrases in this, very descriptive. worked with the picture/ topic nicely. Smooth read.
Symetrik - right off the bat, your flow, use of cadence is a lot better than I remember from you, I've been gone awhile so don't be offended!
first paragraph is a lovely foundation to build on. nice tie in
would laugh through the weeks and dabble in sweet lies,
like we were passion released, like the rattle of breached skies,
as we dashed to the tree lines in a battle to keep dry.
Time is fleeting as it speeds by, and I could see why
I loved reading this part, pen is tight, story is probably more solid overall. gathered momentum very early and didn't relent. I wanna see you produce this level of writing in long form (I like I did lol). 16 lines seemed to hinder you
not much in this. Its down to pure preference. both had good starts, Scar probably had better phrases throughout but I found myself enjoying Symertiks more, especially on second read!
v/ Sym
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