Very close battle. I’ve had to re read the verses way too may times but i finally decided on a winner. And I have to say you guys both took very similar approaches to the topic. It almost felt like a collab. You both brought us into this dream world and sort of meandered around while describing it. I would have liked you both to have taken a more direct approach tbh but what you guys put down was strong.
Mr. J - upon my first glance your verse seemed simplistic because of the very short lines. But it actually had a strong scheme and cadence. I agree with ether that it seemed like a nightmare of an abused girl being chased by her father taking different forms stalking her through the woods. I liked it. And I really liked the ending.
Obj - while I didn’t love your take on the topic , I did love your mechanics. You showed up with some excellent multis. I know there was a brief period of time when we were in the same circle and I like to think my writing may have had some small influence on you creating your own style. As I see some similarities in our writing structure. This little trip through Narnia had great imagery but did kind of spin its tires a bit in a few spots. In 32 lines you have to drive the story forward at a faster pace than you did here. I don’t want to be overly critical just giving constructive criticism.
Overall - this could go either way really. I have to give the edge to objective simply because he had more length to his verse. Mr. J ending his at I believe 20 lines hurt him tremendously here.
Vote - Obj
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A.bove T.he R.est
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