[Candy]

mj:

man depicted the pic well.. can def feel like your on a hunt of some kind in the first bar.. i dunno if yall seen enemy at the gate but the vis hero goes through training just how you depict the scenary.. very colourful for the pallet is what im saying.. thoughts i cried dope line.. lol sfx was dope as fuck.. i put one in mine but it almost came off whimsical compared to that.. tight he he..
i gotta say structure on this so far is tight aswell what like 8th line in no fault.. keep it up.. the inner turmoil dope.. man this cool but its like an opener for something like if the topic was describe a topic to that picture that would be a 100% killer.. nothing wrong with the verse its just like a page turned in a book of rhymes instead of being a solid page in the book.. yeow mean.. its not just the size of the piece its the actions to they dont even qualify as lazy so you cant place it under the characters struggling.. n the emo though there i know you was making it snappy like a recoil but its like that ish came from his drool and the wind carries it in the snow then thats the cats whole story.. dope anyways the way you put it together just it walked into the wrong barn feel me..

ob:
chased by her shadow super fucken dope dude.. i wanted to chase along with the character.. dont want to be a fag or nothing but you mj's verse wrapped up in the first bar if it keeps going like this..
deep swallow for me on the whisper secrets it just rolls off the lips.. nice.. and so the story begins.. loven it.. or absence of his how you end a stanza.. it was a cliff hanger without being a forceable hollywood style cliche.. i loved the part where the reader walked through the worsed open door.. truley poetic.. back in the forest like you never left dope.. braiding its bear omg.. left me in ponder yall fucker.. lol that was the end real cool man, loved the story short but like a bed time story.. nothing too gory but playful while it kept its dark morbid approach..

vote = objective

ob was more solid something you expect to read in a battle like this with a cool topic like that.. gl guys