[Sinacog]

I can't really tell you in one way what it's really like,/ (Your dad still thinks about you)
really, like, can't even describe what I'm feeling at night,// (All the fucking time)
Fighting to even survive, and every evening I cry,/
Standin' where demons collide breathing in fright,// (I'll never quit)
Got a walk about me with a gait of a lion to feed on the lies/
The prey in my sight's a painting to work; the easels 'his life',// (Calcifer's Flame buddy)
I got a stutter with breathing, always wondering meaning,/
was my son meant for this, his dad stuck in the depths of this shit// (Let's go!)
Constantly learning with lessons from it or something I'm seeing?/
Or was he meant to see life at its peak, me and my betterment?.// (that's it...)

[Chorus ~~]

Rocks in my path and I don't give fuck in the worst way,/
Son, I'll walk it to hell and back to be there on your birthday//
Because the way that I see it, you gave me the place of my being,/
You're the reason I 'saved' me, our bond's chained to the meanings//
The stride of a beast, a man willing and die to succeed and fight 'til he's bleeding!/
Blisters on the sides of my feet, with just one look at you it sparks to repeat it!//
I'll always work hard, I'll push myself to be the best,/
to be the best, I have to beat the best of me and then--//
push myself to the limits in hell and the wind in my face/
sprinting this race, this race of life we all run within fate,//
Even though me and your mother have 'died', the love is alive/ (Always, okay?)
My everything's what you deserve, and this is just to remind..// (You)
you'll always be number one in my eyes/
'til the day death comes with it's chime.// (I love you)

[Chorus ~~]

(It's all changed now)
Lost in the alliterations, my mind is constantly scatter-brained/
got a buckshot pattern of thoughts and I'm honestly half insane//
Thinking of us, that giving of trust and missing what was,/
I know I can't be doing that; so I'm giving you up hittin' this up,//
releasing my stress, easing my head just to sleep in my bed,/
building my new home, coping with anger piecing the rest,//
It's like.. I'm walking home in the blizzard in New York,/
I miss that, the cold hittin' me like a song with few chords,//
If I could write about my day to day and the coming of time/
I sit in the biggest crowds, watching it dwindle flushing our lives//
I'm alone and afraid, still crying but it's just a stone face,//
cemented emotions, I built a monument to my old ways/
I live in a fable, and my life's constantly flippin' the table/
with every turn around a new obstacle hits and disables//
But you know what, put me down and I'll get back up/
your words can sting, but they inspire me to stand up, that's what//

[Chorus ~~~]

Lie after lie night after night, I took all of it through,
I got fed up, with nothin to do but cussin' at you-//
I left, cos I couldn't face what you call is the truth
all of these problems you brushed under the proof//
it left me in shambles & rubble you threw, after everything
all that it proved was it wasn't me, I did nothing, see?
take a look at my life, and look at it twice; cos all of it's you..
I'll never stand in the back, getting stabbed in the back
getting back handed, attacked letting the damage relapse
I ain't reminiscing the past or what I truly envisioned as dad//
once you laid a hand in front of our son,
you're lucky he ain't the son of a Gun//
cos that'd be one helluva shot
just remember you lost// (Laura)
and I love what I got../
My son and our plot...//
Kingdom Hearts With a Pen

I don't usually speak about it; reachin out to my demons outlet,
but..I've seen the profound-ill beast around this scheming chalice,
sipping my blood gripping the tongue as everything is undone..
where my spirit divides I hear it inside, he starts sifting in lungs,
a peeling demise..scares, defiles and puts fear in the core of my soul,
he gorges it whole, a porcelain stone golem with a force of a bull,
like crows 'fore the riveting coursing symphony of misery hits a peak,
when he hits it then leaks, thoughts I have turn to ink on the sheets,
it's being; slithering, wheezing; rips me to pieces directing my feelings,
I reckon I'm seeing a nightmare with eye glares forgettin' the lesions,
"suicide, do or die, you and I are two in life" forever he's speaking,
an ether thats creepy, wrought with a fulfilling bet on my life,
as I lay still in this bed at night, I feel in my head it's a fight!
in the crevice of mind, destined to find a message to write...


I've cried too many times to count always questioning if this will make me a man,//
looking up to you till that one day you stood in place with a stance facing the facts!//
hoping everyday that the time is now and you fight this violence, live or die trying..//
all I seen were red lights, sirens.. heads high, crying, a stretcher then driving..//
Man..Mom is scared, Dad don't know and I'm here just waiting for you,//
this your baby brother sayin' this dude, we're all here waiting patiently too//
everything I'm about to be saying is true as you lay on this hospital bed paying your dues//
I feel goosebumps and hate within you, something that could kill and take away any fool//
you're in a battle with something caught at 22, I'm seeing your face turnin' blue and I tire of it,//
this life is something, it's funny how you start peacefully then almost dying fighting..nothing..//
see, I saw it progress till you were lost in the head caught in this bed, it's awfully retch,//
but this is as soft as it gets, this hits harder than death, I can't be silent no more & copy the rest,//
you failed to realize what the human mind was capable of when you started taking those drugs!//
you said you'd change for your son, and that you'd make a way cos you 'love'//
yet you can't take a minute and say that you're done and do away with it, son,/
you made everything a lie, you kept making them up and our truths weren't waking you up!//
I cant hate, you're my blood, these are just statements of love for you to embrace with a hug//
this is the basis of trust and I take it to heart! this is what momma said she'd place within us!//
now we're men and I'm still reaching to say it's enough! tryna break those chains with the rust!//
see I can take it with some but I can't take it with blood, now it's a fight till it's a break in the cuffs,//
I'm not waitin' to say to your son that all it takes is a drug to take away what we love!//
that his father bruised his veins cos of love, pains and lost lust, went insane and lost us.//
what will it take? you in a grave and us praising above?....waiting for us?//
cant you just take the minute to say you're willing to change?..//
maybe take a look at this face, because now it's your son in my place....//
Not me/