@
Nigma
You are one of the best I've ever seen in the rhyme/flow/internals...fancy-yet-smooth "department".
I mean really impressive and top notch when it comes to that.
I guess the only slight knock would be:
Does that proficiency and focus "hamper meaning" a bit?...Here, it does, I think...BUT
1- that may be MORE the fact that it's abstract content/tone....perhaps the focus on technicality is not THE reason for "hampered meaning"....maybe it's purposefully abstract...It is, after all, an abstract picture you wrote to.
2-I mean this is enjoyable to read, even more to execute...guess it's just so abstract I was looking for something more tangible/linear....but hey, this piece could very well be you purposefully executing the opposite...
Good stuff man...
======================================
I'd like to see you step outside your comfort zone sometime, even if just a quickie....perhaps try something more concrete/ less nuanced/ more direct/ dare I say more "vapid" (purposefully)...with your technical abilities it could certainly be exceptional with the right tone/ideas....
NOT saying to quit abstract rhyme extravaganzas...those r very important...
Take care~