Netcees - View Single Post

Pharaohs Army · 03-09-2023, 02:00 AM

@Concrete
I honestly don't think this needs feed.

Hardly any, I should say.
Probably a comma after the word "red", before the word "button", at the end.
flick of a red, button...
On initial read I did not see that's rhyming WAYYY up above...and it's good; just hard to spot at first.
I've just edited out my suggestion to cut the last two lines, and simply offered a comma. to keep them.

I REALLY ENJOYED THIS DROP AND THOUGHT IT WAS HIGH QUALITY...shows u r talented.

the skeletal structure/short line format is a nice cool changeup. nice&tightly constructed.

03-09-2023, 02:00 AM	#2
Pharaohs Army Banned Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 2,956 Battle Record: 6 - 14 Rep Power: 0	@Concrete I honestly don't think this needs feed. Hardly any, I should say. Probably a comma after the word "red", before the word "button", at the end. flick of a red, button... On initial read I did not see that's rhyming WAYYY up above...and it's good; just hard to spot at first. I've just edited out my suggestion to cut the last two lines, and simply offered a comma. to keep them. I REALLY ENJOYED THIS DROP AND THOUGHT IT WAS HIGH QUALITY...shows u r talented. the skeletal structure/short line format is a nice cool changeup. nice&tightly constructed. Last edited by Pharaohs Army; 03-09-2023 at 02:10 AM.