[Pharaohs Army]

The witches of east wick written
edward wittens bittens betty by itty bitty piggies
silly wabbits
silly carrots
as the daffodils spill the dandelions still
still a bit of a muddle at hogwarts puddle of unmuzzeled muffles
how do you be what you aint
a stripper
a saint
a wizard or warlock born of godilocks or jack and the bean stalks purple haze
say..
do or dont -
one tree, one breath then breathe by the leaves by apple for the seas
the light house for the mermaids the slaves for the birds and the bees
learn to fly, learn to ride - learn to untangled the riddle with widdle the branch for the frees
the children of the ease that birth
in earth
unwind by the caves cliffs rivers pebbles and beyond perched
parched but not starved
or opposite day where we change places and see the forest for the free fire wood paved.. worthed dipped in dirt and ready for sale..

Motherfucking Fire. For the most part, I thought…No fucking lies…Not kidding…I’ve been riding you for almost 2 years to “do your style right” and I think you finally got it….Heh, not “perfect” by the end…but no piece ever is…

[We can go into the Freudian/Psychological “depths” of exploring if I was “riding” Cereal hard, in much the way that Universe scolded me to “try”…perhaps I was acting as big brother and “projecting” the “demands” from a “great writer”….projecting them onto Cereal last week…WHO DELIVERED BIG, FINALLY, IMO, and may or may not be semi-keying/trolling as an alias of Candy (But that’s another story, lol, and @this point irrelevant.)]

This verse is a “fuck you critics/phara/whoEVER” it may be, lol.
Cereal be like: “I’m gonna PUT this word here and you’re gonna rhyme it with THAT, before. YOU HAVE TO, that’s the way I wrote it! F U here’s a tongue-twisting random image ‘n u hav’ta spit it!!!! Or kewl phraze…just so gritty and cool, and kind of a friggen relief, this week…

Moving on,
OPENER, Cereal came out swinging…9/10. Love it, if you can’t tell.

we set to the seven seas and back again our philosphers school has a moat
and island.. and stage and steps.. from what we made of boat
coast to coast..

really cool rhyme…and “swag” bragging about what your philosopher’s (misspelled) school HAS, lol…2tripple0 style “simplicity”, however…so doesn’t score quite as high as opener…7.5-8/10

aite the table set the foods been placed, the drinks are of goblets a feast for princesses..
angels and several other dwarf looking griffins misses missing herself under missletoe hissing...--
the last super of grandour for the teacher rellentless the chess pieces and misspelling so sloopy
like a snoopy song of three headed cherubs with butterfly wings that apear appareant
a pear
a banana

Low-key fire again. Love the “aight” to start, the cute/fun uber-rhymes, the ludicrous self-aware misspellings, the EGREGIOUS simile to close it, with a non-rhyming from BEFORE, but rhyming (like a dick) a couple fruits at the end… a real ‘fuck you closer’ that again grades highhhh (despite the keystyle nature) 8.5/10

as we walk dow the halls collecting fig branches untangled from the manger like star spangled manors in the manor major..

the rhyme structures rotten like our forget gold teeth bitten - say it saviour in prayers by the prior - each book writen in such langauge..

we mime it we chant it - we tip it upside down like a stylish cow tied in honour killing to keep the sticks together.. then we play..

Pfft…just take it for what it is netcee-ers, more low-key fire…ARGUABLY loosely topicalizing writing/writing competitions if you look closely…a "dead cow honor killing" reference and a 3 word non-rhyming fuck you “then we play”…yes exactly, but you’re(we’re) finally "playing" "right"…not as great rhyming, or technically, as the highest grades here, but another 7.5-8/10

huffle puff spearmint green light - almost too pale to white out in a white out storm..
we turn upside down and spin around the unicorns and giants born..

the game was epic, the school of glamour..
a kingdom of sorts..
the food like the drink of port flavour spoiled..

we rest for the night, the dreams our dream catcher promised..
we blow out the candle and book our magic book in the draw.. polished honest

our arts and crafts of catching lightning about paper marche' children holding hands and set them ablaze.. in one song they fade into the shades of our blinks cosmic..

Ahhhhhhh Fiiiiiire maybe even better than your big opener….wish you didn’t end it w/ “our blinks cosmic”…ugh, it just felt a bit lazy/&reached4 to try’n close it…after ALL that fire before…that’s just my personal opinion to find a better phrase to close it & do the rest of it justice:
Tricky wording and rhyming in this section…kewl rhyme of “kingdom of sorts” after the end of the previous stanza…”port flavor spoiled” cool phonetics&change-up…aand more “casual”/”run-of-the-mill” “summation” at the end… with a good phonetic old British “book in the draw”…I feel like you’re topicalizing the craft of writing AND Hogwart’s schools etc…9.5 BANG

we drift for whatever is beyond the pines..
beyond the edges of the bed i cant find
beyond what is beyond my mind, my eyes my minds eyes..

shattered in the whether or not to die in my own breath through it to be smothered in snugg.. i rock

a bye baby
on her witches tree top.. i rock-'abilly sleep sneeze and let death ease from system free

goodnight and amen

I could argue that first “bridge”-like stanza is not as “creative” as the rest of the piece…but still it’s not terrible…then a quick brag, PLUS a tie-in to the picture and a rhymey bye-bye closer…7-7.5/10.
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It can’t be just that I’m in a “good mood”, or something…or am complimenting other writings I find interesting…It CAN’T just be that…you spent a little extra time on this and your style is finally evident…keep it up.
Upon an initial read of Rock’s verse, this one will be close!!!--- I.e. Cereal even if you lose a close one please understand that I think you’ve found/hit on something…

Rock employs a very “audio-feel” to this one…with palpable emotion and quality end-rhyming /syllable/cadence…I THOUGHT his closer (last few lines) was the lone weak spot, BUT I say that about everything…He shows experience with some of his wording about how he “feels”, and the (at times) simple but effective flow.

Is VERY close because Rock has a more traditional verse, more polished for sure, sliiiiightly weak ending (compared with the rest of the impactfulness)…BUT Cereal finally brought it and if ANY week deserves it would be this---THAT said Cereal the most important thing is the writing is archived, not necessarily ****the W/L… Which I will EDIT IN… As soon as I can******
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Alright guys, sorry but I can't NOT vote Cereal here...he's earned it, in my view...
Rock, IF I'm gonna record a song -- YOURS here for SURE...just SO polished & Tight...
And genuine sad/emotion...
So maybe yes call this "personal preference" after constantly voting against/telling Cereal to "try"... well here you have it folks, take a look at that middle section.
As an "audio guy" I'm being hypocritical here (yet again), but mainly cuz this is the realm of text--
I just think for a "topical writing exercise" V Cereal stole this one with creativity, honing in on the abstract and at times bumpy/rugged but COOOL style.
Very close-- Rock, not a shot at your piece...I thought it was well done.