I liked this topic actually, it’s almost like a timelapse of the past and present, showing how everything changes yet somehow remains the same. It’s cool. The obvious take here is perhaps one linking those two different worlds, perhaps something to do with genealogy or family history, but there’s the opportunity to take us from the adult seen in the past and come to a resolution where he’s no longer around for whatever reason you wish. It’s really quite an open topic with many different avenues potentially to explore along the way in this one, a more left-field take could be perhaps to have the person be a time traveller - going back to correct a previous wrong, but what is it? And does it all go to plan, or does changing that fault later then change the course of his own history somehow unexpectedly? I think there’s quite a lot that can be done with this. Let’s see what you guys have…
Master Rock: I felt like your central character here has some form of drug-induced psychosis from smoking weed, that’s what I deduced at least, and as he was walking down this road (or perhaps even a metaphorical path he chose to take of his own willing) it started to become almost an echo chamber for the ghosts and mistakes of his past. The images became more vivid to him, though he wasn’t entirely sure how real everything he was seeing actually was, this is alluded to in the line with “Dead or alive?” where his uncertainty’s shown as well as “All I’m left with is questions to ask,”. I think you did well with that concept, even if it perhaps needed more meat on the bones to fully flesh out the idea in mind. The descriptions in the snippets of imagery we get as to these fleeting apparitions almost is where you probably excelled the most, going into detail on the dark skies and black crows etc. The closure at the finale reveals more, that this is in fact your own ghost caught between the ethereal realm and the present day - unable to move on and thus, stuck in purgatory between the two words with no real final resting place. It’s a true lost soul. The ending is polarising and intently so. I liked the concept for real and thought it was a good idea to bring out a lot of visual imagery for the reader along the way.
PA: I liked the direct approach you chose to take here, tapping straight into the visual seen and dissecting it somewhat in your minds eye through both its past and it’s present. I also liked that you chose to instead focus on the locational setting and it’s architecture, which makes up a lot of the image but perhaps isn’t where the viewers eye is first drawn towards in this. I definitely think Master Rock could have benefitted from what you started with here and used the location and it’s buildings more to build up the world his central character was cast in, that would definitely have added a stronger dimension to his own piece in my mind. I know he does bring up the cobblestones and so forth but it had a brevity to it I felt could have been expounded upon. The compare and contrast between the two different time periods is a huge part of the visual topic here for me and that’s definitely more the route I would have tied with having this topic, which again I felt you did more with incorporating into your piece here. The deciding factor here ultimately for me came down to conflict. Conflict drives great stories. While Master Rock perhaps had some niggles toward the beginning and it seemed more abstract, towards the final third and close he presented his conflicted character quite well I thought and ended strongly on the front - the conflict of him being trapped in eternal purgatory was the driving force behind it. With PA’s there wasn’t that conflict at its heart to really drive it beyond the realms of a comparative analysis between the two different time zones shown, it was essentially building the world around the character that Master Rock hadn’t quite managed to fully frame. It’s actually quite an unusual battle as I prefer PA in terms of his multies and world building, placing you firmly in that scenario and addressing it directly, but I also felt that Master Rock excelled here in terms of his concept, imagery, execution and even imagery wise I feel I give him the nod largely because of the dark visuals he presented. In truth I found elements of both I liked, but for differing reasons, what one guy perhaps didn’t have the other did and vice versa, making this a clash of styles for me. In the end I felt Master Rock had slightly more I enjoyed coupled with the storytelling verse which again I’m a fan of over the dissecting narrative approach from PA. I’m reluctant to call it personal preference as there’s elements to both I liked.
Vote - Master Rock
|