[Cereal]

universe:

. ..Behind every great daughter is a truly amazing father.. .

truly an emotional opening.. wonderful simply marvelous..

The bright light was just beautiful, I saw dad disguised in illusions

amazing first line it really set the pace for whatever this story is its going to be dope.. i am always a sucker for a good intro.. i use to watch that ish to mj adds in mj caps.. watch state tryout games from front row seats after meeting nba players of my country with friends on the court.. dope days indeed very dope days.. the rhyme structure is nice and the general structure of the verse..
best line so far prolly you want be better then this though
I'm trying to move... Looking up I see the sky isn't blue
also dope i followed your colour blue all the way to the white line dope
waiting in the whitest of rooms
cool little diddy..

frank:
i love the adjusting to the scene line you actually sit in your chair and then pow that line set you straight.. then this line cool to An Undefeated Team... really puts you there just the delivery of it.. great nba language man its on fire.. downtown boomshackalacka i dont wanna be a fag or nothing but as good as universes is i think you got this in the bag.. just your basketball knowledge alone makes for a good read... buzzer beat! dope part to.. his against kareem very basket ball diaries i love this verse man.. malfunctioning clock thing was dope.. prolly the best part it actually takes you out of the nba talk which is dope.. quote is basically the worst part of the verse actually makes me hate it but saying that i am being anal because the verse is so hot saying that though it is still a nice quote.. Pom-Pom's dope line.. my new fav line.. your structure is unique like always but your rhyme is dope prolly a highlight.. the crossover hit perfect delivery if i was going to use one thats the way i would use it.. um i have flooded this breakdown dude so im just run it down with a vote but still read your ish.. gl

vote = frank

by a landslide boom