[Cereal]

broken:

very colorful i think the story wise though original wasnt very creative in the actions that took place.. there was moments that shined like they was going to go somewhere but for the most part this verse was very linear.. kinda like a 4th grader thats been given an F grade but still gets called an advanced artist that wrote it.. it is exacticly what it sounds like it was an actual enjoyable read there is just no substance in the way of the non fiction and or previous characters you are using.. the new revelations were like one step ahead where an artist would have had better looking in on those characters themselves which means you are better leaving them sleep.. just my opinion.. still dope for style thanks.. topic wise was where yall killed it, yall stuck to it dope basiclly if the world was built as a falling quill and yall had to cover everything according to what topic ink it was dipped in you would be a lethal weapon..

sral:
dude real sad but real beautiful.. though it was more metaphorical then direct representation from the examples used by description you really nailed the snowman feeling at the start by setting this beautiful imagery of your childhood house and the living snowman.. that you really had good character development you leave with a beautiful friendship with you dead father with his broken heart yours.. thanks.. really dug this hip hop song type structure to.. topic coverage was dope to.

vote = sral

all in all way more developed which made for a better read.. thanks and g/l both..