Well gents, we’ve got ourselves a decent little battle here.
First of all, tough topic. But leave it to topical writers to find the morbidity in damn near anything.
Okay okay so here’s how i see it.
Lars - this was a very Larsy verse, perhaps maybe the most Larsiest verse I’ve ever seen. I mean it was technically proficient, the story was decently told and though some of the wordplay and turn of phrases made me sigh, they usually were pretty on point, if not a little simplistic. I think at this point you’ve been around the game long enough that you know what’s going to get a reaction and it’s been awhile since you’ve been genuinely challenged so the writing feels a little lazy, there’s not really any fire to it imo. You’re one of the best to ever do it but this piece felt lazy and monotonous, but that might just be my point of view on it? I don’t know this just felt like watching Tom Brady play football this year, like I know the guy is a legend but I just expect more I suppose. Like I appreciated the metaphors and what not but the story took a backseat here, I expected some kind of redeeming twist to save it at the end but it was just ehh. Technically proficient and decent if not sort of boring. Love you though fam
Quill - this was an engaging piece. Storyline was decent but not without its missteps, thought a few of the details were clunky and what not also would have liked you to have alluded to the dogs being existent earlier in your piece and giving us some foreshadowing. And the scene with the two friends talking normal and then the one randomly scrolling over to a video of the other friend and his woman cheating, and then finally being upset about it read sort of weird, I guess dialogue choices and perhaps fleshing out your story more would be my gripes. Overall I felt your story was better than Lars and had its moments but as a complete product I think it was a good premise but was ultimately botched.
Story wise I much prefer Quill, the dog killing dog story Lars gave us was meh. But in terms of being well written; and being more proficient I’ve got Lars. This is a prime example of being “out-boxed” in a topical match.
V/Lars
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