[Cereal]

universe:
straight up the structure was dope, it really set the mood for "this is going to be a "good" story" then your hot ass mutli sylable internal layers hit a whole stanza of straight fire.. i was like i was i still had that heat but the last for years ive just been trying to keep my pencil in play.. but chea off the hook dude.. i love the greatest showman aspect that ana is a living thing prorped for show.. super dope def brings a personal element to the piece.. she "re-wrote" my genetic code super sweet.. poetic eveeeen hehehe.. some big vocab the fade out to at the end of the stanza "and then....
daddy "died?"" dope.. the waterpaint ending very scenic.. thanks loved it..

scar:
i love how you both brought the name in the topic to life by portraying her/them as a character i think with such a topic yall did a really good job because it really did feel that is what the topic needed.. your fav movie title suggestion really brought the verse to life beyond its general style because it was one of the lines that hit like a ten ton brick - it had an underlining sense that states "even though you are reading this in american english/australian - this is my natural language" super dope and probably one of the top ten hardest things to pull off.. so kudos..
fav line:
"Brought back to a time of cinnamon, nutmeg and hot chocolate drinks."
reminds me of christmas..
um story wise dope..

vote = scar

i mean mechanicly universe took this if your looking for rhyme sturcutre - consistancy but scar extremely loose style really held an original style to a great story and a great revelation.. dope battle guys