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Old 12-13-2022, 03:54 PM   #7
Diablo
Badgerdick
 
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Showdown City
Posts: 2,633
Battle Record: 11-2


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- Art of Writing League

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Vote - Dope girl

The topic was open for you both to show some world-building skills to create something here, basing your storyline firmly on the setting of the block. What are we seeing, why is it important, what lead us here? Is it that life has a way of tripping us up when things are going well, or is it how we have to know to pick things back up immediately afterward and try again? So many options, so little time. Let’s see how this one plays out…

Right.

Candy: Your verse has this almost free form train of thought style to it, in my opinion, where rather than adhere to an orthodox topical line length we see many use where they may have some end rhyme in mind they want to finish on, you almost throw caution to the wind in that regard and will keep going, so that it reads like a keystyle, albeit a slightly more refined one I guess. I think you find you’re your own biggest challenge, it seems to me like you prefer to get the verse down as quickly as possible just to test yourself to see how quick you can do it even when you’re not up against the clock. It keeps your pen sharp in that regard, and is likely why some fragments of imagery end up appearing as a collage of thoughts because that’s essentially what this is for you, you’re writing in a very stream of consciousness manner on what comes to mind at that time. It’s unedited, unfiltered, and raw - and I think that you enjoy that fact. You’re very much of the live-in-the-moment ilk rather than obsessing over polishing everything up with a neatly tied little bow at the finish. It’s almost refreshing.

Dope girl - I thought you would enjoy this topic, figured you may even inject some of your own experiences into it perhaps, you were a young girl yourself once. The direct approach can work well sometimes if you immerse yourself in it and have something to say beyond what’s there on a surface level. “There were girls outside playing Double Dutch,” was a nail meeting hammer moment as you struck it on the head from the opening line. It’s difficult to expand upon this little review when I feel like I’ve already taken more time in assessing this than it did you to write it. Before Frank red flags this vote I’ll remind him he should have probably red flagged this verse/battle first to save us all some free time this week. Anyway, this was certainly a battle that happened this week. Kudos to both for showing where many others failed to do so.

Vote - Candy
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