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Old 08-24-2022, 02:24 PM   #4
Adverse
low tide in serotonin bay
 
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,752
Battle Record: 37-28


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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paytience View Post
Yeah I mean this has nothing to do with this verse. Just because his quoted text mentions a cave and the title mentions allegory doesn’t mean they have anything to do with each other.

I’d read this verse about three times and hadn’t had proper time to feed until now

This was a cool verse I’m sorry you didn’t get to drop it we moved on rather fast last week. Think this is a good topic but almost feel like it has too much going on in it, realistically there’s one central theme and that’s time. But there’s other ways you could have twisted it, you told a pretty safe story in my eyes topic wise. Was good but you didn’t really break the mold, rhyming was solid, progression was decent , and like I said I wish you could have dropped this and competed in more weeks because I think you’re dope. Glad I had the privilege of battling you though. You’re an awesome writer and though I feel like this piece maybe could have used some more fine tuning and maybe a final read through/edit would have benefited it but overall I was a fan of it
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