[Universe]

*The following Disclaimer has been provided by Universe's attorney, Earl Lee Depp Archer:

Since there is no set guidelines in the rules & regulations (aka "DA RULES SZN 10") of what exactly constitutes a "line", or how long one can be, my client has decided to pack an inordinate amount of content into each and build his verse through interior rhyme schemes within the line itself. A traditional bar being defined as a line is the writer's prerogative until there is a rule in place (such as a maximum syllable count) that states otherwise. This model has been utilized and exploited by others this season and not a single official disqualification has been handed out for going over the line limit; The only prerequisite being, apparently, that it is disguised properly... and yet sometimes even when it isn't, no disciplinary action was taken. Therefore, a precedent has been set and cannot be deviated from here, lest it be discriminatory.

Each line my client has written has been marked with a Tilde (~) when concluded. There are 60 of them.

Thank you for your time.

Earl Lee Depp Archer, Attorney-at-Law


BITER: A Shark Story

Dedicated to all those who have bit and have been bitten...

You know who you are.

"Every line is the perfect length if you don't measure it." - Marty Rubin

~~~~~~

The start is the ending in a way yet I left it unexplained; Some adventures are understated, but nothing ventured nothing gained ~
Inspiration is only plane to sea when calling mayday; Got to push way passed the breaking point if you want to make waves ~
So go with the flow, let the mainstream keep crowds at bay; Throw loud soirées, it's a shore fire way to go down in flames ~
Everybody's bound to cave, I wish I would've found a lake; Where distance below and to the sky is around the same ~
I copy this down and paste just to develop my taste; Swelling while naked, suiting up 'til goggles envelop my face ~
Watch news at 8, tomorrow's sand castles are scoops today; Check O2 intake on the regulator and adjust my scuba tank ~
Down in the bluish haze I know my next tale's sprouting; I won't head out until I have to go in depth about it ~
We're not in the same boat, it seems I'm hell bound here; You can't coast along forever without putting yourself out there ~
With dive spears I prepare as the salt water tide clears;
Finding rocks with outcrops like some agricultural nightmare ~
Is there light here? Oh fissure... That's where my self esteem pours; Out here in the open water, this is what I breathe for ~
Walking toward the precipice, I hardly got to drop; Jumped feet first in this floating cage by simply coming off the top... ~
Certain the bars would protect me when moved on like lock picks; It's like I'm truly some prophet inside a suit of blood sausage ~
I put it all on the line, it left me reeling like bait; I engage my regulator and seal the exit on this think tank ~
It pays to be up shits creek without a paddle to break; Rats run away from sinking ships when something rattles their cage... ~
I spot a massive wide shape, flesh hanging below its cut face; Enormous jaw unhinged, but this ain't an open and shut case ~
Intimidating yet I'm not it's intrinsic taste; No men on its menu, I think it wants the fish I just ate... ~
I'm poultry in comparison, no mistaking the matriarch of the sea; Those razor sharp teeth can do more than make your arm bleed ~
Not taking feedback, it moves effortlessly in the shadows ahead; Like the gallows are next, filling me with gallons of dread ~
It stops dead, a killer on all sides with an impartial center; A heartless devil, black soulless eyes burn like charcoal embers ~
Adorned with Remora that are a literal perfect fit; It's luring in the hypnotic swirls of fish that encircled it ~
Tipping the balance like scales that poke out its side; I make my exit slow... the cage explodes from behind... ~
It came as a massive surprise even if every factor's outlined; I spun around just in time to see it's snout backing out blind ~
Exactly like a bolt of lightning, a portal with makeshift shocks; I stay in locked although the Fourth Wall of the cage is gone ~
Can't pray to God when prey to monsters, this is my darkest hour; The bars are cowards, mere remnants of what the shark devoured ~
Embarking outward, the ocean was quiet and still... Then I saw it approaching behind, jaws wide for its meal ~
Like some dinosaur, a swimming Tyrannosaurus Rex with its sight; Instinctive in flight, I propelled to the side as it misses its bite ~
Thrust my lance like a knight, I found it a long duel... Blood gushes out of a small wound I could almost crawl through ~
Wetsuit ballooned, I floated up like a rapture to heaven; Saw the silhouette of my boat and thrashed for good measure ~
A glancing blow... Pain intense as a tent peg gripping... The wet clay... I glanced down to see my left leg missing ~
No doubt while sinking I surely can't form shouts; Blood pools out under water like some murky red storm cloud ~
Must've found a death wish with this mesh-less material; I look around and see no predator... not the best of scenarios... ~
Check my air hose, the dark sea blaring sound off beat... I turn right and see sharp teeth baring down on me ~
It ain't a secret blood's leaking like droplets of rain; I brace myself to get wrenched back like I was hit by a train ~
It takes parts of me higher, all other options seem dire... I'm pulled back and forth violently in this under water meat grinder ~
They say once bitten, twice shy... that's a Great White lie; It may keep license plates inside but it can't take my drive ~
Or leave me high and dry... I guess this is my swan song; I hear a POP, more blood clouds, then my right arm's gone ~
A bit long in the tooth to start acting as if I'm involved; Only a matter of time before the shark comes back to finish the job ~
Like cinema's Jaws... Lying ain't something I'll let stand; I take my regulator out and slide my tank off with my left hand ~
I know survival has the chances of a lottery roll; But this shark can't rip me to pieces if it swallows me whole... ~
I believe it's targeting souls while nesting to breed... A bevy of seeds... It begins its ascent up ready to feed ~
Picking up speed, teeth are needles that seem harrowin' to me; I squeeze my hands and feet, making myself narrow as can be... ~
Like some heroine with cape and uniform repo'd; But I'm no universal hero... I'm a human torpedo! ~
My truest form's beast mode, I've written this into legend; I went straight into the blackness much quicker than expected ~
Digested, I curl in a ball inside this massive beast; Like a dentist's dream, I passed the teeth right to a cavity ~
Lungs ask to breathe, I hope you're keeping the time... I'm ticked off... but being digested is preferable to being eaten alive ~
I begin to dry heave at the thought and vomit my angst; Then a golden light suddenly lights up this awful tight space ~
An anomaly, 'bile' accounts it's seemingly thick with distaste; Faced a half-eaten fish as it swam freely amidst the rib cage ~
It said, Inhale... so I did and felt a dull little blade; A thousand daggers pierced my chest, my eyes bulged from the pain ~
Drown out the sound, it exclaimed, I know it feels wrong to do... But you were consumed by an idea that never belonged to you ~
That's nothing new... There is nothing new in the garbage you spew; If only I had a harpoon... No need to harp on it, dude ~
I mused, 'How do you bring life to a story that's told to death?'; I don't know, it said... How long can you hold your breath? ~
You better give everything you have with no amount replaced; The notion of outer space comes from an ocean out of place ~
That's up for debate... But if you can relate that's a quick kinship; Like the Indian Ocean, what it gives it takes back in an instant ~
Weigh that against being gifted, obviously something had to give; How does one think outside the box when that box doesn't have a lid? ~
Do you mean this entire time I was sitting on a floating skiff? Holy shit! I thought I was doing some lonely skit of Moby Dick... ~
Time to face the music, this entire scene is underscored; How do I create something that's never been done before? ~
You sacrifice for an artform that you once thought was yours; Topics galore, there's no way everything under water's explored... ~
I crawled toward the wound where light was bleeding out; Something dawned on me... Don't get any bright ideas now... ~
I got that eureka smell... can interest accrue that deep? That thought has some teeth, pal... but that's if you ask me... ~
The catch being a shut trap leaves us both intact, see?

But is that FREE... ?

I Have No Idea...

The fish laughs...

Exactly.


~ Fin ~