Sin
Well, I can say your mechanics have improved (at times) from what I've seen of you before. I assume by the writing style you are Jeso. There are demonstrations of your understanding the basic rhythm of four through the line, it's just unfortunate that you cannot remove yourself from this typecast of verse, where it's just a very loose flex and rambling of saying what you are, without ever taking a step back and writing something from a different perspective. Hopefully one day you can step outside the box, because repeating the same thing will continue to place a very low ceiling to the enjoyment of your content from a readers perspective.
Master Rock
Content
A solid stab, definitely kept it relevant to the topic. A very abstract verse, perhaps a bit too abstract in my opinion. After my initial read I do not have a firm understanding of the message in the verse, just saw many introspective references to the picture while falling down a third eye vision rabbit hole of self reflection and a different and darker perception of reality because of what you know and no one else does. It was just very vague, regardless had some stand out lines. My favourite below
"I find the grandfather being clocked in, now the chronological's hands are in a held in a bind"
Mechanics
On the scale of flow vs content your duck definitely weights heavier on the content side. Internals are scarce, mutlisyllabic rhymes at a minimum, not much in the way of transitions. There were times when the imagery on the content side was stepped but, but on the other hand I feel much of what you said could have been worded more rhythmically. Fortunately you did not need a perfect verse to take this week handily.
Prognosis
Pretty cut and dry here. I'd say Sig demonstrated some more advanced mechanics at time but that is the only category I could argue edges in his favour. Master Rock takes it with a more complete verse that better encapsulates the topic.
+1 Master Rock
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