Rawn
Content - enjoyed the story you told, the visuals you painted, and the way you progressed the story in a naturally worded way. Things were not rushed or forced, you connected with the target in a light hearted way. There were no profound, standout lines, but there were a few very well executed areas:
"...I recall how things used to be
before lights buzzin, it was proof of bees
before night hunting, there was lucid dreams
before high sunscreen, I consumed the heat"
"radioactive, radio agent, radio station, radios dead"
Mechanics - You angered my brain switching schemes after 5 lines as opposed to sticking with 4 or adding a 6th, however that was only mechanical grip for you. Lines, such as the ones quoted above, were confidentaly written and showcased a true understanding of rhythmic mechanics.
Overall I really enjoyed this. I thought this was a very solid submission and checked all the boxes. Great content, mechanics to back it up, and kept true to the topic provided.
Mike
Content - as opposed to telling an ongoing story, you chose to depict a frozen moment of time, relying on the description, imagery, and backstory of the moment, and succeeded in doing so. Poor fella just tryna serve some saucy dumplings and folks showing up with baseball bats like when Bryan owed Stewie money. Only issue with describing a moment is the lack of progression, and in this instance I think it limited the upside in the verse. The content overall felt a little spread out, as if lacking direction from the start. As mentioned, it did succeed in the way it was meant to, imagery was the standout feature, I just wasn't feeling your concept as much as your opponents.
Mechanics - Absolutely no gripe with the mechanics here. Each line consisted of a rhyming couplet so the format was superb. Great internals, multis, transitions, clearly at a very advanced stage of technical conceptuality.
Overall, a really solid submission as well, you were true to your topic, remained visual throughout, just didn't really have that pow factor for me.
Prognosis - It was clear to me after one read which I preferred. Although Mike had a solid drop, Rawn delivered a concept way more flushed out, mechanics were even in my eyes, but the concept and execution of Rawns verse took it.
+1 Rawn
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