.
What’s it like to protect - without thanks or any love in return?
You can’t acknowledge a SINGLE TIME you left my heart smothered and burned…
Every sentiment simmering. Miscommunications covered in words -
I love yous from me and your brother just never returned…
Gave you stars; I prayed your whole entire world was a blessing
& thought of you as that delicate little girl who was seven
At some point it grew oppressive; I guess I never learned
Sorry baby. Sometimes I said things to better my worth…
It left me broken; elusive solutions I’m bent on to seek
mending every promise that I couldn’t remember to keep
See as a father I cherished you, saw you blossom and grow…
Sacred thoughts of you like snapshots, fossiled in rose
You grew up smart, beautiful, virtuous. Someone I deeply wanted to know
But everything unsaid loomed; we let the monolith grow.
I love you with all my heart, Kate. From your brown locks down to your toes
so every sharp glance and trite remark is like a knee to the face
My love for you’s something no other human being could even replace…
You’re grown now. love that was once unconditional contorted to spite
It’s strange to think we’re worlds apart when you’re the joy of my life
Boy, what a ride. ANY obstacle you ever faced, I’d destroy it & fight
For your well-being and your dreams with any poignant device
at my arsenal. It’s like I’m being squeezed as pressure descends
On my whole being - I’m wondering if we could ever be friends.
Could you forgive me one last time? I know I’m fully a fool
But try to remember that time I saved you from a bully at school
Or when I worked overtime just to buy you that dress
For your prom. I thought your date wasn’t good enough, but I’ll try to digress
You looked beautiful, sweetheart. Should’ve given you more reign in your choices
Instead I bickered & complained. Rained down disdain, disappointment
Some seek power and money; your welfare was always my greatest appointment.
Kate - July 26th, 2022
Dear daddy, I hope this letter finds you sound of body and mind
I thought of you looking through my things. Ha, That prom dress’ gaudy design…
You drove me that night in silence, beaming oddly with pride
My protector…it’s almost like you were a God at the time
It broke my heart to leave you & the city only to never return
For a while it almost felt like I dismembered an arm -
Our rift widened as I analyzed the wear of my years
Mentality coddled, even regressed compared to my peers…
Ostracized, I guess like you and I were destined to be
My wings clipped, though you had the best intentions for me…
I was an island. S.S. Minnow wrecked & left in the sea
It’s nice living in fairytales, daddy. but it’s better to breathe
Better to realize we’re holding on to false redemption & weep
than wait forever for realities where tensions release…
You’re still my hero, you know. It was just time for me to sync to my tune
catch up with my insights and let me slip my cocoon
I know you’re well intentioned daddy, you’re just stuck in your ways
it mesmerizes, wisdom slumbering with an elephant’s grace
A vortex we couldn’t evolve beyond, until a fault opened wide
This situation’s something that we’re both at fault for this time
Feeling nostalgic, thought I’d reach out and pay an ode to our bind
we’re opposites on a magnet, daddy, our motion’s resigned
If I could figure out a reconciliation, I’d shift my mode on a dime
Our love still exists father - it’s just frozen in time.
.
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UNIFIED THEORY
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