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Old 07-17-2022, 02:24 PM   #3
Sharp
HE / HIM / FRAC
 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21

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Some HOFers should stay in the archive's, his status was probably wrong.
If ladies kiss his ring, they’ll have to suck my dick to wash the poverty off.
I understand that you're trying to flip exactly what he said but I don't understand what the punch is... His ring is covered in poverty? And your dick is appearing out of nowhere. I could see a punch maybe related to the green residue left by cheap rings but I really don't understand why your dick is here
This is a young man's game, you should have stayed in your place fam.
NC been tryna get rid of me so long, that sharp finally using the mace can.
there's actually a cool concept here but on a bigger scale, it misses the opportunity to diss your opponent - I get that not all of rap/battle rap is about that but you have such a limited space that you can't really afford to miss a chance - and the wording is not good. Something that conveys 'I've been hit by an arsenal on NC, I'm not worried about a little MaCe' could have been pretty dope imo
From lifetime bans to free wins, guess this vet is no longer the guest of honor.
He used to be the shit, but he's more out of practice than Vanessa's daughter.
I just don't get this. If you're referencing a show or movie it helps to include it somewhere so people like me know what to google. Literally just saying

'think (show name). Used to be the shit but...

Wouldn't really fuck with delivery/wording at all in most cases.

Maybe I'm missing the hype, if you hold the throne we should all bend at the knee.
Ur so used to dickryding on HF, that you still owe hush money to jin the emcee.
I don't get this either but I wasn't on HF so I'll reserve any judgements

Glad you dropped. Overall I think you need to take more time with your concepts and not worry about doing anything crazy - just worry about getting the punch across to your reader
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