[NYCSPITZ]

blood in a bowl, so you salivate and swallow it whole
feline fantasy turned enemy. our ecstasy slowed
to a screeching halt / i stopped the car and followed a road
to a fork and knife, a poltergeist with similar poetry
sundress and rosary. she promised me a different dystopia
i left around 9
felt that dagger metal enter your spine
ripping up your tissue as you kiss me goodbye
never one to argue, i just step to the side
answering the siren's call of pleasure & pride

^^^ The transitions in your verses were buttery smooth here, as per usual. It’s not like others lack your vocabulary (although certain words you use would never occur to us), you just phrase things in a way that makes minds melt. Take the first line here, descriptive noun, followed by two actions. Swallow it whole has a sort of heterosexual finality to it that’s actually overlooked in an era of #metoo faggotry. Then, key, the first word in the next line “feline fantasy” ties in the rest of the phrase/sonnet/paragraph/essay whatever fuck you. It’s like you’re using personal experience to write yet you’re not. Like it’s a dreamscape pulled out of the psychosphere in some strange parallel reality. I dig it. Ecstasy slowed to a screeching halt is nice because all you need is the word ecstasy to convey the stratosphere/moon/space levels of joy within this relationship, and then it crashed (as all relationships tend to do). You strike me as somebody with character and depth who would be monogamous given the chance but certain deeply scarring parental issues hold you back from having kids/staying solid within a relationship for years. You seem jaded and overly cynical and creative and influenced by writers who were genius but possibly manic/bi-polar/archetypally regressed (ie. Hemingway in his adolescent me vs the world mode til he died). Anyways, even if that’s right (probably not) I appreciate the creative output and I think, from a bird’s eye perspective - when you zoom out from the vantage point of Zarathustra’s soaring bald eagle…we are all perfectly place in the flow of the Tao. So anyways, you stopped the car and followed a road, to a fork AND A KNIFE that’s savage. Just adds extra dimensions to it. A poltergeist with similar poetry, Yup just met an ivy league grad student who’s sexy and was wearing floral top, there could be something there (probably not), but it’s rare to find somebody who is also sexy, and a genius, as I am. Rosary beads and sundresses, gorgeous wording - nothing better than a sundress on a woman. Rosary beads, *heh/chuckle/chortle* I mean, it can convey either a very conventional “trad wife” type of bitch (who you know that bitch is still gon creep anyways, whatever tho), or a sort of halfway bitch (trying to stay traditional but the rosary is a dead giveaway since she’s agnostic/atheist/uncertain so it’s just a sort of attraction piece to attract dudes like the slut she is), conversely you can have the other type of chick who’s just straight social butterfly, flirting with every dude yet you’re still attracted to her bc she’s so comfortable in her own skin and gives you hope that you can fuck. It can also be a straight bitch but I that’s not what you were going for here. Dystopia/dagger metal/rip through spine/kiss line was savage like strangely sexual and gave me a metal hard boner. It’s like, a baroque/complex/sensual/jaded/cynical/passionate/too close to the flame type of deal where goodness and truth and…morals do in fact exist, but they’re always just sort of out of reach, like just outside of your peripheral vision. That’s what we’re dealing with here. Never one to argue - answering siren’s call: you’re mastery at push/pull is perfect here. You’re “stepping to the side”, yet you’re answering the siren’s call, you clever little shit. In the syngery of this lascivious/overtly sexual/somewhat pathological-jaded-neo-noir/dionysian union, you’ve painted a picture so sexual…so savage…so deep….so flawed but oh so real. And you’re giving yourself sneak props by being like, Aye dog, I just step to the side but it’s nothing for me, I psychoanalyzed this bitch 57 hours ago and though I’m slick enough to not mention the psychoanalysis to her directly which would dry up her pussy faster than a trickly of poland spring in the Sahari, I am acting with her in a way that delved straight into an evanescent encounter in the PRESENT MOMENT, thus activating a sort of zen satori moment, an enlightenment and awakening that can only be found when one truly is at peace with all his emotions, all his past, and knows he has merged with the flow of Tao…I think you still see yourself as separate from the Universe, I will not fault you for this, but clearly we are all at one with the universal body - this is never more evident and ferocious than when one such as yourself takes a moment to do that mind exercise for himself - seeing everybody and everything as an extension of that same energy that was once (ostensibly) the big bang….

wheelchair-bound on army rations
stenosis twist your chiropractic
doublethink your heart imagine
like you never saw it happen
tell another promise that we'll drop inside another casket
fireside we fought a dragon. all behaviors automatic
addicts in a thoughtful panic. i escaped the fall, titanic
drowning in your own Atlantis. guess who's throwing water at it?
i've been taking shots and
tossing darts at you for target practice
zombie-eque your posture,
ghosts inside of your head
you'll be max, i'll be the monster
all the wild things are dead
nailgun nocturne, nighttime may it lull me asleep
nextdoor while spinal fluid leaks all over our sheets
you never knew until i left
how deep that it went
now i've left too many secrets
and you're bleeding to death.

I was strongly considering the 18x program for special forces a couple years ago because I’m smart and handsome, so I like the reference to MRE’s, it just would’ve been too long of a commitment for me, 2 years fuck all that noise, it would have been interesting to become a contractor and get paid to kill people though, yeah whatever fuck that noise I’m trying to get laid this summer. Stenosis twist your chiropractic is on some frank shit, flipping it on the chiropractor himself, instead it’s chriopractic, in addition you’re creating an infinite mobius strip loop where the “chriopractic” element of stenosis actually breeds stenosis itself via movement/non-movement, it’s paradoxical like the double slit experiment. Doublethink - drop in a casket was ill, not surprised to see a 1984 reference from this morose muh fukka, imagine is also a beatles song so you can never rule that out as wordplay, this almost reads like a buddhist koan which is a paradox unto itself, making the student confused until he realizes that the shit’s impossible and the only thing that matters is true oneness with reality in the present moment. Maybe you should retire soon and become a zen master, that would be funy ahaha. Tell another promise…that you’ll…DROP…INTO A CASKET??? THat’s fucked up, you’re telling promises you won’t keep and shit? Grimey, just grimey. ANyways I could get deeper into that but I’m not going to, hehe. Fireside we fought a dragon, all behaviors automatic —->> Going off previous verses you had a dysfunctional yet monetarily and intellectually fruitful (if not scarring) childhood so you stay fighting that dragon, “WE” is key here, as the dragon in our mind that must be slain (NAMELY THE GATEKEEPERS OF FEAR AND ILLUSION)….MUST be handled on an individual basis, the comfort of another human, platonic or otherwise, is a crutch in this sense unless you deeply understand each other and help the other slay their own dragons, but that’s rare imo (though it does happen organically from time to time, I feel it used to happen more often in say an old native tribe where they had much more reverence and time to think about archetypal forces outside the distractions of modernity). Yeah let’s say you fought the dragon, that’s a nice lil homage to teammwork and faith in humanity that peaks out of your works coyly at times, you then immediately shut down the notion that the dragon was slain because you can’t do that with automatic behaviors, getting to that deeper psychological realm where you find excalibur and slay the beast requires a consciousness shift which could be as simple as a satori moment or as complex as layers of psychotherapy (or self psychotherapy) until you get to that node of denial holding you back and finally burst it open for good into one thousand evanescent bubbles of gemstones frolicking in joy like so many Japanese Shinto spirits joyously dancing in the midsummer night’s waft of vernal peace…

I fee you intuitively understand this, because your next line reads: drowning in your own atlantis, guess who’s throwing water at it? You, ofcourse. The “thoughtful panic” you allude to can be seen as a tension held by borderlines and those who may not be bordeline but are at the edge of an archetypal force (let’s use the king/warrior/magician/lover as an example) that they don’t understand/can’t fully handle. It’s tough to channel numinous energy, easier to shut it down and explain it away as evil/bad when you really just aren’t handling that energy properly in the moment (we’ve all been there, me more than most maybe). Tossing darts is also a nice allegory for “popping” negative inflation, the blown up state of ego found in hermits, reclusive hikkikomori, etc. The jester in your mind MUST POP this negative inflation so you can be more at ease and one with the flow of the Tao…as for a positive inflation that too must be popped so you can regulate archetypal energy instead of squirting it everywhere so that the goo attracts and repels everybody in droves causing chaos with only your narcissism at the core of that chaotic kingdom of gooslop.

I’ll be max you be the monster, aha yeah I watched stranger things 4 too my nigga, u seen that shit…fucked up how maxine got fucked up but at least she’s only in acoma. Another reference to dragons, you have deep rooted issues, I’m worried. PM me, I know a guy named VERITAS that can help u…

Nailgun nocturn nighttime, I started triple alliteration here around 2012, or maybe 715 in Japan in my last incarnation as a Daimyo there, thanks for that. SPinal fluids leaking all over the sheets, your lines always hit heavy because it’s not like we can’t think this shit up, you’re almost on a different vibrational frequency and phrases like that aren’t even available to us mere topical mortals, Others do it but you do it like 15x in one verse, it’s actually quite impressive…

The ending with secrets and bleeding to death is very poignant in an era of glib social media horseshit and social media profiles that show faked smiles and highlights of people’s lives making them seem more attractive/rich/cool than they are, it’s actually really a mass ZUCKERMACHINE experiment which holds narcissism as it’s false god, its holy grail, its fool’s gold. BUTTT, since we’re all human we hurt anyway, we bleed anyway, our secrets hurt us and confound us and revel themselves and enlighten us anyways, it’s just more NUANCED to do it in a REAL WAY where you’re not pretending and acquiescing to the culture. Which we never do. I would never do that…could never do it again…

ANyways, dope verse haha wow lots of material is jam packed into those few short bars!!!



Frank I like you but others are correct in saying you are acting entitled and childish. It’s just not a good look for a 34, nearly 35 year old man. You gotta grow up a little bit. Anyways, this was a dynamite verse here my fren. A few lines stand out as fire delivery:

- Detachment and sin
- Alan wrench
- Mechanical Pez
- Malice Intent
- Stash the medicine
- Van Halen Cassettes
- Dead Man’s bailment was set nice hidden punchline

Anyways it was dope and I am currently deciding who to vote for. The sheer amount of creative license you took, along with holding of tension and imagination in droves. I kind of want to vote for you so it’s 3-2 and a close score. I also kind of want to vote for dead man because although you’re two completely different writers, his writing seems to contain more depth, nuance of lived experience and intellectual ferocity. Your writing seems incredibly creative and engaging but you repeat certain line endings and the bars are so stretched it’s almost embarrassing at this point.

I’m with Universe, I ALMOST want to vote for frank, it was that fun to read, but when you stack up pros and cons, deadman has few cons, and frank’s highs are extremely engaging but his cons are more prevalent.

So I guess mvgt to dead man. I think Frank can win a rematch if he goes all in with the right topic, this topic was more a deadman topic than a frank topic, frank could potentially win a scifi/fantasy topic vs deadman but it’d still be close and he’d have to be firing on all cylinders

V/ Black

See you next week after I win mine 2-1 after a butthurt frank hate vote