There’s a weight hanging over me, ready to drop, and I can’t determine, if it’s heavy or not,
sometimes I just want to take a machete and chop , everything around me, into confetti and swap,
this life for another , with less pressure felt, this stress is gonna put me on a stretcher, help!,
inner turmoil, fuels the pain, stricken with royal and purple veins,
ripped from the soil, but jewels remain, a victim embroiled won’t bloom the same,
symptoms learned spoil the internal flame, sickened as I toil in a turtles frame ,
feel boxed in like I’m boxing in a box when, clots thin out of options on these toxins ,
abandon bandages and bleed excessive, I’m no longer here ,you can leave a message,
writings on the wall, read the sentence, remorseful but still cant achieve my penance,
it’s pathetic I used to specialize in athletics, now I go to a dentist so I can specialize in anesthetics,
tried to be perfect, but it was out of my reach, uncertainty will make you doubt your beliefs ,
sometimes I just want to go into my house and retreat, from the world that has given me a thousand defeats,
and I’ve found my peace, it wasn’t hard to find, giving up on life, with these scars of mine,
days are fragmented shards of time,but this was the hand I was dealt, these cards are fine,
they wanted a daughter that excelled in sports, hotels , travel teams, in hell, a corpse,
oh well , as a teen on a rebellious course, pushed into things, feeling helpless, forced,
innocence lost , soon black clouds formed, now I’m living in the midst of the loudest storm,
the portrait I portray ,is proud and strong, but when I’m all alone a frown is worn,
gravity of expectations, has me feeling crushed , fingerprints remain on my ceiling touched ,
exposed to addiction and it’s revealing clutch , all I do is exist but is that still enough?
my father always said I would achieve great things, but now disappointment has replaced his dreams,
all I do these days is lose weight and fiend, living in the gutter and the fate it brings ,
I yell for help emitting the faintest screams, I really want to change but it’s too late it seems
all of this anxiety is too much to bear, wish I had someone to lean on but no crutch is there,
look in the mirror as I brush my hair, in a public restroom while getting a ton of stares ,
as I stumble outside to the best of my ability, my dad shows up to give me a ride to a rehab facility,
he is optimistic saying I’ll return to health,
he hasn’t given up on me, even when I’ve given up on myself