[Mike Wrecka]

Interesting battle here.

Timeless- I usually don’t like narrative verses that use a comedic tone to drive the story along. They usually end up being not funny and too goofy to be taken seriously. You actually, for the most part, avoid that here. I enjoyed the humor and the story kept me engaged. I do wish that you would have been able to incorporate a more complex rhyme scheme but you had a pretty good use of multis to offset that. Also you shouldnt have left off with the to be continued, made it feel unfinished. Overall it’s a fun verse that I really liked. Great job.

Adverse- you broke your piece into two sections and the second part is noticeably better than the first. . The first part is very basic and you fell into some end rhymes that never work out well and are used by beginners. legacy, apprentice of me , never could be. Those are to be avoided at all costs because it comes off way too elementary. I. The second section you picked up some steam. I’m assuming they were two different writing sessions and you had a better vibe going for the second. This part of the verse was a lot better. BUT it still lacked something for the most part. Overall the story was engaging however. And it was an enjoyable read that had a good tone. I read it twice and had fun doing so. Last verse I read from you was quite a bit superior to this though.

Mvgt- Timeless