Candy,
I read this 3 times. I just don't know anymore man. You need to read more, develop a style of your own but that starts at actually realising that you need to stick to a subject. Its like any type of sports theres a gameplan and you go for it. Find your playbook. You shouldve wrote about james and the giant peach.
Mike wrecka,
I thought for sure candy might upend you here with a potential of rust shining through on your end. Tbh i loved how simple it was and it just read so clean. The rhymes were on par with mr. Rust but its all good, you made up for it in more than enough ways. "Everything that would be is broken, a carpenters dream." Solid execution sir. Short and sweet a sort of cimmerian style.
V. M.W.
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