Thought this was a very dope battle. Adonis this is a pretty fire verse, when people do pieces like this it’s all about keeping it fresh, and the mechanics/delivery/flow, even the grammar & structure were all on point. Thought you worded shit very well and it came off polished. Lil Xan line, THrowing R’s and B’s earth fire wind line, it was nice, I even enjoyed the *kuxxxx* thing. My only gripe is that with pieces like this, where you’re using first person omniscient (or whatever the fuck person it is @
oats @
Certain @deadman @
sacrifice for confirmation) it can come across as a bit lazy and gimmicky because you’re essentially being a cultural critic by using short observations which you don’t have much space to flesh out. It doesn’t hit as hard in a league with a deep roster where I (personally) value certain elements like depth and creativity a bit more. I had no issues with the verse as a standalone piece, however, and thought it was a dope lil verse.
Frank’d verse was way different, he had instances where he fucks up the syntax or whatever, morphing a noun into an adjective or some shit, but it’s whatever to me b/c I personally don’t give a shit about that unless it’s like, really bad. Here the grammar was just creatively misinformed, or something. I thought the concept of it was cool with MJ tripping and getting to escape the fanfare for a sec with the cab driver thinking he’s a poor guy. Overall the “distortion” element was woven into the story a bit better than Adonis, from the cab driver mishearing jackson to the concept of him tripping the whole time etc. Cool descriptions like the rain falling on his face, was feeling it. Think it tied into your last week’s verse too which was cool.
Overall this was a preference vote but I got Frank edging it out, wouldn’t be surprised if others saw it differently according to personal preference
V/ frank