[Dominate]

NYC,
This was dope. A really entertaining story. Great vocab, great flow. Rhymes weren't a flex but they weren't lacking either, and they mostly come off sounding very natural, like your story just happens to rhyme rather than that you've had to word it so that it does. I'm unsure if the story is inspired by real events or if your characters and Zion corp are metaphors for something and I'm too much of an ignoramus to pick up on it, or if it's just some creative story telling, but either way it's impressive. Favourite sections:

Their wives enjoyed cigarettes on the patio. they sipped rum in a room
a weekly ritual since they met at hole One in the Dunes

As Smith wrapped up his synopsis, Hershel’s face flushed, feral & reddish
this disaster was a subversion of the founding Father’s American ethics
on the other side of the aisle, Smith’s face crashed with the blues
How can the planet & its ecosystems survive in the face of transnational goons?

Zion scrambled against the outrage with lies & nefarious lingo
But rest assured - the company’s current disintegration & precarious limbo -
Were caused by one Republican and a democrat…steadfast American kinfolk

Very solid showing my dude.


Objective,
A somewhat more abstract take here. A memo from "existence", interesting. But I think the idea didn't really give you enough to work with, enough to say. There were some interesting and well written lines, but I wanted a bit more depth and detail to your character while at the same time feeling like that would have taken away from your central idea if you had. Still, there was a lot I did like,

Besides survive,
what else resides inside?
In my mind I try finding a purpose.

was a highlight. A great description for a feeling of emptiness. And I liked your rhyme schemes this week. They're different to what people typically write in these leagues but they work and give your verse a unique quality. I thought you were better last week but this piece was cool too.


Voting for NYC