[Objective]

Eviction: Attention grabbing start, brings you into the story for sure. Emotion-filled throughout with darkness that resides inside the main character of your story and the love and resentment for his partner. Thought it was well described but the wording and execution of this stood out to me:

I have to make sure I catch every shooting star,
Make a wish before the melody, and capture your eyes when the music starts,
^That was beautiful

I guess I took it for granted.
^Great closure.

Dope stuff

Dominate: Dope first stanza, however... Vomiting all over the kids was a bit over the top, in front of the kids would have been enough but I see what you're getting at. Alcoholism is filthy.

Damn, 5 months ago? So, she stays with him, now I don't particularly like either of your characters, lol. Good thing she finally left him in the end tho.

5 days ago and his choices catch up to him, this took a dark turn.

He marks himself a loser
Scared and seeking solace in the arms of his abuser
^Dope description of alcohol abusing him and having him in its grasp. Good stuff

A quarter to ten in the morning, no calling into work anymore.
Not today, or tomorrow, or however long eternity’s for.
^This too was dope to me

Closure was good as well. This is the tale of an alcoholic as his life comes falling down around him while he can't let go of the bottle for reasons unknown other than being addicted to the substance. Would have liked to know the reasons for his alcoholism and what drove him there but I guess the consequences of his drug of choice don't care about the reasons. Dark story that's well described with decent metaphors and a timeline.

Vote: Eviction. His story had a little bit more depth to it overall, I also particularly liked how he added the song as well and didn't take his own spin on the quote given. Dominate had a decent story as well but it was a bit more straight forward and lacked emotion, and a reason for me to care about the characters. His strong point was the timeline and descriptions here and there that was well crafted, Eviction takes it on overall execution for me.