Uni:
I love this Truman Show controlled weather take on the topic. So Creative. Glad you mentioned ‘Xi’ being a Chinese name lol, that jumped out at me too. There’s a little bit of an orientalism vibe in those first four lines Lars wrote (on their own. It’s fine as an into and I’m sure he would have written a story with plenty of substance and not just making Japan sound exotic). But since you were building on that I actually love that your story was like YEAH, WHITE MAN WITH ASIAN FETISH, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT WE’RE DOING HERE completely unapologetically. I don’t think you needed to write 100 here honestly - you could have cut this off at ‘Asylum’. You already wrote a dope take on the topic with an interesting story and a good twist by that point. I wanted to reread and digest and appreciate that much. I didn’t need more. Still enjoyed it but it was like watching a movie and its sequel back to back when I would have preferred separate viewings. Flow, rhymes, general writing skill all excellent throughout, as expected.
Adverse,
This take is cool, raining BLOOD in Kyoto bc it’s a samurai slaughterfest, dig it.
Flow, rhymes, vocab, all great. I think I would have preferred just the straight samurai story and not the acid trip twist. Or if you went that route I think I would’ve liked it more if it was more abrupt and surprising rather than fed in with the character’s confusion about where he is etc.
This is actually pretty close IMO and def BOTW. I’m going to edge it to Universe for a more creative take on the topic and for a slightly more polished delivery. Good stuff gents
V/ Uni
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The Bad Guys
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