Universe- excited the dark read, very descriptive in terms of scenery and gore. I wished at points you used commas because the lines themselves flowed but as an actual sentence really needed the comma to be proper. This was a story of a girl captured and escaping, but the from the point of view of the capture or bad guy. Good read a bit long though as I say that each stanza held plot or weight on it's own integral to story itself. Notice no commas. For the most part the flow was stellar, though, at times, I felt it was kind of just bidding time until the build ups occurred. All in all good read, heavy narrative that both griped my attention and held it with it's turn of phrase and schemes. Long, but fun read that didn't seem long as I read, only after be looking at it as a whole.
Adverse - seemed like you wrote this in different sittings. Only reason I say that is because, to me, you seemed to pick up steam in flow and storytelling, then sort of have a lull then pick right back up. "tears well then fell down her face" just a simple adjust but adds flair in schemes yet loses zero context. The samurai take fit perfect as it tugs on the shit that I like. The storyline itself was solid, though, near the end dragged on. You seemed to begin coming to a close then reset and began coming to a close again in final stanza. I will add I mentioned lack of comas in your competitors verse so I kind of have to say, I won't quote, but one sentence had 4 comas and that helped me as the reader to match your writers voice.
All in all this was a good battle. I enjoyed both reads, find things I didn't like as much, but each verse had sperts where I was kind of floored because it just wasn't something I would of thought of. I do think universe had better schemes throughout, but adverse held my attention a tad more, probably because the Ronin samurai theme drew me in more. In ether case, fully enjoyed the read ladies, than you.
V / universe
This was a tuff vote and dare say as even as ever, to be though, for all the good each writer has, universe simply had more depth on various lines that popped in my reading. Not to say adverse did not, I just felt like his writing style slightly gave him the edge
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