I mean this was clearly rushed in at the last second for the easy NS win but it seems like every time you drop there are outlines of gems in even your most rushed work. Cool visuals here and even though the rhyme scheme was kind of generic throughout, you didn’t take too many chances (nor did you have to) you were still able to paint vivid pictures. My critique for you is the same as it is any week, you’re going to have to find time to slow down and flesh out your work if you’re going to beat any of these top tier writers, but the greatness is there, and I believe you could write with the best of them on any given day.
My favorite segments were
“ I saw the joy of others and sledgehammered their frame
stomped on butterflies because the responsibility had to die
reflected in a puddle and a monster stared me dead in the eye”
“ addicted to self control the lack of discipline I had it
I'm not who I once was before
but I still hear the demons and angels clashing their weapons at war”
Striking visuals and a dope meaning. Thanks for showing up
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