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Old 04-28-2022, 12:19 PM   #8
Adverse
low tide in serotonin bay
 
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,752
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Champed
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Dope battle here gents. Let’s dig in and digest

Timeless - this verse seems like it had more time given to it then your others have this season, especially last week’s. Liked the little individual character studies of this dysfunctional family. The metaphoric language was a huge plus and though you don’t tell these traditional, linear stories with a clear beginning, middle and end I felt like it was still told in a way that kept the pace well, my only complaint is maybe there could have been more conflict or an explanation of why the sky fell into the earth? I did dig the ending though and the image of the sky crashing into the earth bringing time to death and kind of creating this family reunion. Good stuff

NYCSPITZ - I think this may have been the first NYC verse I’ve ever read. It was impressive. I liked the way how you brought the comedy here but were still able to tell this dope story at the same time. Your vocabulary was phenomenal. Words like “octogenarian” had me hitting up Google (you learn something new everyday I guess) I also liked that even though the character’s situation was fucked with him aging 50 years over night, that he had the time of his life with it and didn’t really miss a beat. Loved the end of even his death not seeming so bleak. Thought this was masterfully entertaining

I feel like ultimately I’ve said this before but timeless was just outboxed here. NYC was just too much for him and even though his verse wasn’t even bad necessarily, it was just outshined.

V/NYC
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