This was a cool battle, pretty easily the BOTW imo. The character development and depth of the verse goes to dom. Good writing tells you more than the sum of its nouns, adjectives and verbs - it paints a picture that gives you layers of implied nuance by giving you information that begs for you to play detective and imagine. Dom did that, I liked the first part more than the second…not to say it wasn’t good, it’s just some shit that happens when you write. Being the astute alcoholic undergrad college dropout student that I am, I googled djinn to refresh and deepen my understanding, I thought it was a dope flip since djinn are supposedly spirits that accept or deny god and can be either evil or good (wikipedia). Your verse read closer to something like a banshee imo, but whatever. I’m not nitpicking like, the etymology of middle eastern spirit myths used for an off the cuff topical battle. Master Rock I liked the verse. I see a trend of alliteration for alliteration’s sake which is kind of a detriment to your otherwise solid opening. Using multiple D words is cool if you do it smooth and create meaning and add mysterious effect, I just wasn’t feeling your seemingly haphazard adjective-adverb-adverb combo. There were some great concepts in there (shadows consuming the compliance of your disdain), it’s just worded somewhat awkwardly, but I assume you are alluding to your schadenfreude and your conflict with it. Man chiseled cracks chip line was cool but not like original cool, more like blase cool. I feel like I’m being a dick here but I really did see potential in your verse which is why I’m sort of, I guess egging you on to tighten shit up so you can make a run for the title. Hellfire vixen was a cool descriptor but you could’ve followed it up better like more than just biting her lip and her eyes wide with excitement. Tell us why. Develop the characters more. Create more complexity brother…you have talent it’s just time to take it to the next level.
V/ Dominate
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UNIFIED THEORY
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