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Battle Hymns · 06-23-2013, 01:05 AM

I like the way this was overall structured and the way you used it to bring out your content more.

Lines like: the harder it's exposed, the harder to make true,

and

learnt the hues of a bruise in places

The beginning lines start with a philosophical question which follows your stream of conscious as you explain your thoughts and how things can be rough because of those proverbial bruises that are imprinted onto your body which also leaves imprints on your mind.

i wanna be about peace, or love. dead nouns
and Red Cloud(s) up where... only heaven knows.

In the end... Heaven is a concept that is defined with great haste never truly knowing what it really is...

06-23-2013, 01:05 AM	#7
Battle Hymns Loves Meth Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Some where in the city of CHI Posts: 243 Battle Record: 0-2 Accomplishments - Founding Father of Hip-Hop Rep Power: 37	I like the way this was overall structured and the way you used it to bring out your content more. Lines like: the harder it's exposed, the harder to make true, and learnt the hues of a bruise in places The beginning lines start with a philosophical question which follows your stream of conscious as you explain your thoughts and how things can be rough because of those proverbial bruises that are imprinted onto your body which also leaves imprints on your mind. i wanna be about peace, or love. dead nouns and Red Cloud(s) up where... only heaven knows. In the end... Heaven is a concept that is defined with great haste never truly knowing what it really is...