Return to Sender
"
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret... All the best people are." -
Lewis Carroll
......
To: Alice Pleasance Liddell
1007 Mountain Dr. G****m (redacted/removed)
My Dearest Alice,
You thought me trapped and entombed but now my casket's exhumed
Redacted/removed - I won't address the issue right off the bat as assumed
It's accurate to say I'm a jack of all trades yet a master of few
Remember Through the Looking-Glass? It was the only classic we knew...
No Wonder what I brought to the table was automatically queued
I created more psychedelic hallucinogens than one could actually use
To cap it off you were a laughing stock when each batch was consumed
Every last of it brewed then expedited by a factor of two
Not mushroom for improvement... Tip the scales and the balance is proof
Establish a loop; I won't ever ask you if the pattern's askew
I'll never break my rhyme scheme, Alice... That's the saddest taboo!
But I have to educate the masses before the madness ensues
Back in high school, my first love was harassed and abused
Used mind control tactics and threw bombs in her class when excused
Took her for a walk down the path, near beautiful flowers that bloomed
I practically knew I'd always choose to reimagine this June
I reached for her hand but she refused - A tragic rebuke!
I could tell by her gait I wasn't apt to get through... (ha)
Noticing the stature pursued I platformed my shoes
But she declined to stoop to my level from her palace-like view
I knew until my hypothalamus and pituitary gland were improved...
My body's delayed growth would stay hormone enhancer immune
Like cancerous tumors; I felt the blood rush like Dracula's muse
Cracked a bottle of pills which grabbed a hold as the rabbit hole grew
Lost hair from the additives... Into top hats I withdrew
Beheaded my rabbit with brute force like a magic trick, poof
Wreaking havoc on communities sent me to a mental facility for youths
Absent hair follicles, my mental condition worsened to lathered shampoo...
Bath salts included... I broke out with nothing to gravitate to
Crafted drugs through experimentation, like how they vaccinate flu's
Feeling small yet still at large like a tower can loom
A spore-addict recluse; When the hour is noon the shadows spell doom!
Started snatching prostitutes of any age, building apparatuses new
Trapped them into menacing cages with sharply cut stacks of bamboo
Acting aloof, jacking off to screams of any captive I choose
Using every last opportunity to batten down the hatches and brood
A lab rat with elaborate delusions, full of malice and booze
Spaced out as Saturn to Jupiter, with poison ivy to ration my moods...
Amassed a talented crew; Put long-eared Halloween masks on my goons
Fed 'em salad and croutons and other rabbit-type food (mmm)
My appetite for destruction has been established and proved
Intellectual property; With more overhead than what's in attics when moved
Drink from this chalice, Alice! You'll envision how the chapter concludes
Mentally challenging stooges; It's disastrous to imagine me loose
I hit the streets like rapture from Lucifer, the dark horse galloping through
Neurotoxin gas as my fuel, with a little fun-guy to rapidly boost
A clown saw the humor... I fashioned a tool behind gathered balloons
In one fell swoop a family of acrobats flew off a trapeze like a noose
Was that you down in The Gulch? Imposter! How savage and cruel
But that's right up my alley... I swear I saw a cat with some jewels...
A bat symbol illuminated a dark night of blackness and gloom
Where I found Talia al-Ghul half drowned in blue lazarus pools
Flaccid and pruned; Malicious newspapers dubbed me The Mad Hatter, it's true
Batman and who? The new dynamic duo is fractured in two
My special tea is my specialty! Smack your lips I'm glad you approve
Revenge is a dish served lukewarm... with a dash of perfume...
A fabulous inclusion! I wish there was something to fasten it to
Like a package on the roof of Wayne Manor with a fast ticking fuse...
Truth is, I haven't a clue why I called you Batman or Bruce
A tad bit confusing...
Because I always thought my Alice was you... ;)
Toodaloo. <3
Sincerely,
Jervis Tetch
Somewhere Beneath Oxfordshire, Wonderland
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mad_Hatter_(DC_Comics)