[Universe]

Bear Witness

“In a world where everyone seems to be larger and louder than yourself, it is very comforting to have a small, quiet companion.” ― Peter Gray

......

In order to pick up where I left off I have to pretend you're my type
And leverage my price; Things go off without a hitch whenever I hike
Used to feeling empty inside... Take it from me I'm stuffed for a purpose
Either I'm under a streetlight or an alien beam's abducting my person
What's that infer? I hate my brown hair but it's better than yellow
As long as I'm your main squeeze muscles will never develop
Brand new yet generic, like highways and truck stops in a tandem
When dropped off at random I always find myself lost and abandoned
It's like some competition - The man that has the money will win
I'm coming to grips with the fact I'm here to be comforting him
Wondering when the hugs will begin... I yearn to be growing thick skin
But to know where I'm going you first have to know where I've bin...
Out of nowhere they discount me - My hopes filled up one cart
But life's a drag... got me looking like roadkill with scuff marks
Counterparts endure a cell so they can take a battery charge
Was once courted for having a backbone, then they had me disbarred
Known to be gifted with art... I'm not concerned if I'm discarded
Pre-fur electronics but never been popular in that department
I'm always beside myself or underneath new clowns with smiles
Regardless, I'm proud that I'll be the one to lead you down the aisle
A sense of security for you homo... ners... I'm a compacted little spy
Capturing my mind while on cloud nine, you're the Apple of my eye
But limit my use to specific age groups, lest red flags will be raised
Don't want me to make quick statements? Quit yanking my chain
Could be your favorite cub for weeks or placed in cupboards come sleep
Customers be bursting at the seams to label me another fluff piece
No bringing up my upbringing; These people never learn it seems
Heard some give better service cheap but nothing registers with me
Many believe wearing a heart on my sleeve meant I loved them
Should we address the subject or are you just here to press my buttons?
Let fools rush in - I'm not something they withstood by themselves
I've watched so many that look just like me get put on the shelf
Someone's always stocking me... I knew quite well it's entrapment
Glancing towards a companion who lived two doors down from my last crib
Course he sucked me in plastic... I'm another bar code in the rack
Salt of the earth, insulting in terms of sugarcoating what's wrapped
Stuck in a holding pattern... When I'm quickly grabbed I react
I'll double strap the backpack, but as an accessory after the fact...
Dreams are crushed like beer cans found on my lonely lit path
That walking stick's got me limp... Yeah, don't even ask...
Something's holding me back... Hesitation's the devil's playpen
Violet headlights break this heavy grey mist like a revelation
Beggar pulled up on the shoulder, teeth clenched like a zipper locked
Got two black eyes, I'm stil surprised at what this shoplifter dropped
He gripped my arm, pulled me in the backseat trying to rip me off
Thoughts fully fleshed out, yet this grizzly John still gives me pause...
It makes me withdraw like a cartoon; I naturally just leaned away
Tried to get him off when he touched me, hands groping between my legs
These close knit spaces are a product of what they build cheap
Wants to poke and prod but I know he'd stop if I was the REAL me
Got his release and powered off - No unplugging right from the socket
That's approximately when he pulled a bloody hunting knife from his pocket
So far removed I'm swollen tonsils; Assembly's required not advertised
He placed his palm on my thin thigh and said, "I want this inside..."
I'm hanging on for dear life, no wonder I'm sold by the buck
Hole in my gut, I'll open right up just to sew myself shut
In stitches at this jokers disgust, this is why I avoid props
But choice stopped when he grabbed my throat and ripped out my voice box
Bet this pet a file charges... They hate when defiled youth talks
The window to my soul got exposed thanks to childproof locks
For every level headed adult there's a baby found in the basement
Breaking new ground is infantile once you lay the foundation...
But they twist my arm, indian sunburn; I feel sticky and absurd
Watched as he peeled off in the dirt after he kicked me to the curb
The ending few deserve... But I'm the presence that you need
Human beings carry a burden that's light as a feather to me
I'm a toy with their emotions; People's demons are forever asleep
But I'm not the teddy bear, creeps... I'm just pretending to be...
Started in kindergarten; I'm akin to guardin' the fruit of my looms
It's how I disassociate myself from this never ending loop of abuse
The next four or five months flew by - I found myself in a special room
With a woman; I haven't been this down and out since I left the womb
To tell the truth I'm a shell of youth - I'm mostly just feeling nothing
The lady in front of me said, "Taking the high road will endear the public"
Brought up memories of my mother; I heard "Don't get near the subject"
If she's getting through it's so mending bridges won't appear destructive
I'm soaring clear above it; I hate to follow their weird instructions
Hypnotherapy brings those scary dreams of a homeless beard that's crusted
"Those that steered the trucks..." Fuck. Was hoping the broken mirror stayed subtle
"Using the bear..." she muttered, "can you show me where they touched you?"
I felt fear just bubble to the surface; Sometimes confessions dry tears
I looked down at my best friend, touched his chest and said "right here"
Maybe I didn't understand the question... With my bear in mind I snap in focus
"Let's stay on topic..." she said; I was embarrassed I hadn't noticed...
Peel back the layers, I'm factory sealed - They're always cutting corners
If I grow up to tell some stories I hope people will love me for it
Those who hate I'll respond with scorn; I only learned to walk to crawl
No emotions harnessed; Once over the barrier you can't stop the fall
Heard "Victim impact", "slipped through cracks" and "capture all involved"
Not everyone is accounted for, there's still remnants of odd withdrawals
No extensions or strings attached when puppetmaster's drop the doll
The doctor absolved me saying, "Your troubled past is not your fault"
I start to bawl... But brainwashing uses soap that won't dissolve
I take notice of quotes by someone named Ulrich posted on the wall
Rock n' roll and hardcore cinema, the gateway drugs that brought me snuff
My porn addiction deformed me quicker than the Black Dahlia
Slashed my body up; I need to find an option that's beyond the stars
"Can you tell me your name?"The doctor asked... Then it all went dark
I want to be so many people... but I had to choose a calling card
So I respond, "I guess for now..."

"... you can call me Lars."

What a trip.