View Single Post
Old 07-09-2021, 06:22 PM   #7
UserName
K I N G
 
UserName's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 685
Battle Record: 15-10



Rep Power: 3228865
UserName has a brilliant futureUserName has a brilliant futureUserName has a brilliant futureUserName has a brilliant futureUserName has a brilliant futureUserName has a brilliant futureUserName has a brilliant futureUserName has a brilliant futureUserName has a brilliant futureUserName has a brilliant futureUserName has a brilliant future
Default

Kind of a style clash. Universe came with the multis and flow and inner rhyme schemes that were fun to read yet weren’t really saying much, and swerve brought the creativity but wording was a little off on a few.

Universe - cool verse man, I enjoyed the fluidity of it. Crematorium idea was dope, but you had a lot of lines that just came off statementish, which I know is a terrible critique to give. Lines like your opener, the one about his rap name being gay, and the flying circles around him line just feel like they could’ve been better used to drive the point home more.

Swerve - like I said, creative, but wording was off a few times. Universe’ll pictures as an example, needed a bit more thought behind it. the way it’s worded, you’re using a contraction on his name that wouldn’t make sense if you break the contraction up. Universe will pictures? The plural ruined it for me. Small little things like that. Nothing too egregious, just felt it was worth mentioning for the sake of my sanity.

Still, cool battle. Enjoyed the read guys.

Swerve gets my vote

V - Swerve
__________________
First Class
UserName is offline